Some Earthly Jokes

These are some jokes taken from the internet.



After many years in anger management the Father decided to go play a round of golf.

He dusted off the clubs and grabbed a Nun for a caddy and they headed to the local nine hole course. He tee'd off, and as of years of old it hooked mightily and he said, "Damn it, Missed!"

The Nun properly and justly chastised him for his verbiage.

Hole two was as grand a slice as you could imagine and he let out a "Damn, missed again!"

Again the Nun dutifully gave him a stern warning.

For all the remaining holes leading up to nine he either hooked or sliced and, now mad, shouted each time, "Damn! Missed AGAIN!"

Each time the Nun warned him God was going to punish him for his outbursts.

On the ninth hole he rared back and tried to kill that little ball and following true, it shot off in a direction he was not happy with. "Damn, MISSED AGAIN!"

"Father, God will surly punish you!" the Nun shouted.

The sky turned to ugly black clouds and there was a huge bolt of lightning and the crash of thunder. There, lying dead on the ground was the smouldering corpse of the Nun and way off in the distance a booming voice said, "Damn, missed again!"

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A minister was walking on a bridge. He sees a fellow getting ready to jump and says, "Why're you jumping?"

The guy says "Nobody loves me."

Minister says "I bet God loves you."

The guy says "You might be right."

 Minister says, "Absolutely, whether your Muslim, Jewish, Buddhist, other religions or Christian like me. Are you Christian?"

Guy says "Yeah, I'm a Baptist."

 Minister says "No kidding, so am I. Northern or Southern Baptist?"

Guy says, "Northern"

Minister says, "So am I. Eastern or Great Lakes Council?"

Guy says, "Great Lakes"

Minister says, "So am I. Charter of 1867 or 1912?"

The guy says, "1912".

The Minister pushes him off yelling "Die you heretic bastard!"