Not another river cruise

The map was carefully drawn in faded, emerald green ink. It curled slightly at one corner and although simple in design, was impressively detailed. The image of it in my hands, the unattainable horizon before me, started a fluttering in my chest. You could taste the adventure on the air.  I would give a try. Nothing is more interesting than a piece of old faded hand drawn map swept by the wind into my face. I almost spat at the darned thing when I noticed it had lines to it. My grandpa used to tell me, if someone takes the trouble to draw something on the sand, you don't kicked it. It could be his name to tell you that where he was buried. God bless his soul as he probably digging them nuggets in God's Little Acre now.

I looked at the map and thought to myself; it must had been tough to get ink there as they used pounded cactus juice to write these lines. It sure looks like a map to me with uneven marks. If its, It could lead to some rainbow chest of gold or a seven more wounds into my mortal body.

I be darned that the world has anything else that can avail me of my attention now than this. Let me put on my boots and kiss my current love 'adios senorita' goodbye or is it riddance to my carcass who keep on popping at her doorstep to seek shelter on those lonely nights.

My goodbyes done and my guns hitched onto the belts, I am riding to my new adventure now.

Excuse me, ma'am, could I borrow your mount to ride? I left my horse back at San Jose when they chased me out for trying to rob the bank.

Thank you, ma'am. I promised you that ain't no one can tell a tale taller than mine. Or is it shorter, I am not sure. Must be the darned morning sun; it gives me the sweats on my head, draining them creative ideas.

By the way, ma'am. You got pretty eyes too. I button up the blouse if I were you. From where I am sitting, you got more than I can imagine.

"Mr Blake, are you sleeping?" I woke up from my afternoon siesta and remembered I am steering Celeste; my nine meter long river fish boat with a twin 225HP motors. Celeste was a much grandeur boat during her fishing days but now she is offered as a river cruise boat for hire. I bought her or rather I got her for free after burying her previous owner who died of malaria. He was delirious when he signed off the boat papers to me and the trade off was for me buy him a coffin and a priest to do the last rites.

"Yes, Doctor Micheal. I mean no, I am fully awake. Its just me shutting my eye to think of the best route to get there. Can I looked at the map again?" The bespectacled doctor of whatever diggings hired me to take him up river to the unexplored parts. I heard of those areas as its rumored to be haunted or some hideout for flesh slavers. Funny that we are in the 21^st Century and we are still worried about old slaver's tales. The doctor placed the map on the dashboard as I squint my eyes to study it.

"I think its where I told you earlier. Its about an two hours more by this river direction. You never tell me why you wanted to get there. People here considered that place a taboo to visit. You know how superstitious these natives are; they would be scared of their own face if they looked in the mirror at night." I broke off into my deep laughter but the doctor is not amused. The academic bespectacled young turk; if I may termed him that way; offered me some good amount to do this trip. He was refused by half dozen boatmen before he walked up to me. I won't fault him, as then I was looking like a train vagabond who missed one too many trains. He put up with my drink tab at Maru' before he convinced me strongly to give him a ride up here. I did refused a few times but that was to pull my price up without him dropping overboard. In the end, we had a deal and I got a crate of whiskey into Celeste 'bosom' to hold for the trip. I be honest with you; I should had been more sober before I accepted the deal.

The Killo River in these Amazon jungle was not named for the fun of it. It taken more than a few incidents to make it one river route you do not cruise on or fished in. That's why the natives been more sober than myself declined the good doctor of his generosity. I can't say for myself, as half my life I was a wreck and the other half a louse. Here I am trying to piece a life by running goods up and down the river or on occasions, take some tourist on some fishing expedition. Once a British tourist came on one of my trips and remarked that there is nothing to be scared of those piranha fishes.

"It probably bloody ruse used to bring us here. I seen more ferocious predators like the alligators in Florida. You should know that too, son. Ain't you from the Sunshine Country too?" I looked at the older man in the safari suit and knee high socks and alligator skinned shoes.

"I am with PETA. We don't encourage skinning of animals for pelts or handbags." He shut up for the rest of the trip and there was no piranha to feed that day too.

"Mr.Blake, looked at that. Its looks like what we was inscribed on the map." The doctor is pointing to a old tree trunk, struck by lightning and tore off part of its trunk leaving what one may consider baroque in the making. Its does look like Aunty Maud when she yawn without her dentures on. "Its the first sign on the map; the sleepy tree."

For three thousand dollars, I would nod to anything he agreed.

"Yes, my good doctor. We are on the Killo river." That excitement was taken over by alarm as the doctor points out the flesh removed skulls on the stilts in the river. There about a number of them, and one of them looked Caucasian as it looked too squarish at the jaw. "Blake, what is that?"

The good doctor now looked anguish and I be darned if I know what those are. Here in the Amazon forest, there are more indigenous tribes that I can count in the Roman Characters. Or so I think as the ones I meet are at Maru'. I feigned anxious look on my face and slowly shake it.

"Doctor Micheal, I think its a warning sign from the Killo River tribes. They are rarely seen and most times I heard those who see them either end up in madness or dead. I think the skull with the square skull could be my old pal, Darren. Damned, I was his best man at the wedding." The doctor took the word of my mouth.

"Its okay, Mr Blake. I have come prepared.: The good doctor has put on a bullet proof vest and holding now a AK47 rifle in his hands. "The dealer even gave me a pouch of fragment grenades. I am no Indiana Jones but I can hold up to James Bond anytime. What about yourself? I have a spare Remington rifle in the bag with a Glock 17 with nine shots in the magazine."

Bless me, father; I have a lunatic with me. I looked at the doctor and smiled.

"Me? I am never without my machete and fishing knife. Guns are too dangerous for me. I once seen a friend shoot his own toe with one of that. And he is Russian too." I point at the AK47. "Nasty hole it made in his toe. We nickname him Sculpture Art since then."

I was to turn the boat around and Doctor Micheal pulled my hand.

"We are going in. This discovery could be my stepping stone to the Jeffersonian Institute."

God, this man is not a lunatic. He is everything rolled into one bundle. The only stepping stone I can visualize now is his skull on the play field as a soccer ball. The doctor flashed another wad of currency and I steered the boat forward to what else the map is going to reveal to us.

This part of the river has never been explored and I doubt anyone wants to come here. I can see the Piranha begging for meat at the river surface and they must missed the beer saturated meat like mine. For all they care, I could be an equivalent of Kobe Beef to them. Soon our river cruise took to shallower waters and in some point, I had to prance into the river to gauge the depth as the water here is all murky red.

"The river water is corroded by the red sediments from the bed itself. We are near to what the map said; red water point. There must be an indicator." I don't know about him, but I think I saw a boa many sizes bigger than me. If size does matter, I am leaving the judges to decide on that one.

"I see it." The doctor shrieked out loud and caused some monkeys on the nearby swamp trees to fled in fright. The doctor is pointing ahead and I see his view is not too far from false. Its a stump or part of one which is like a fat head needle point looking up. Oh, God; if you are going to sit, please do elsewhere.

"Its the Red Water Point. We have to walked from here inland."

That's a relief as my cruise terms were only on water and it does not cover land excursions. The doctor is very convincing. He must be a Rockefeller or Gates to be so loaded. I ended up carrying his spare bags and tools. The only thing I did not get to do was addressed him as Sahib. We made our way inroad into what may be termed as a Safari trip but this is the Amazon, so we will stick to Survival Trip.

It was not a long walk when we came to a waterfall. If this was compared to the Victorian Falls, I would had hesitated to pee into it. Its so minuscule in width but one heck of tall fall. I won't dampen your mood. It was also listed on the map.

"The third marking, the long fall. Its drawn here like dripping water. My God, I can feel my name on the Jeffersonian Listing." The doctor is jumping with joy. I had to stopped him so I can understand what's next.

"Kemo Sabe, tell me what we do next?" I do look like a native American with suntan and currently shirtless with well defined bronze biceps displayed.

"Oh, yes. I forgot. The map said we are to looked for the fallen idol head which would show us the hidden city of Killo." So the doctor has finally revealed the final markings on the map. "Blake, your name would go in history behind mine. Jonathan Blake, guide and guard for Doctor Joseph Lame Micheal."

I raised my finger to him and point to his back. It was my index finger, I stand corrected. The doctor turned his back and saw the tribes men emerging from the forest. There are about twelve of them; I could count as the doctor completed what my fingers could not matched. They don't looked friendly as they have all this read markings on their face and body, with more to it; a long spear and longer shield. If you want to asked, get the Enquirer; I am just the boat captain.

"Blake, do you speak their lingo?"

"Me? Heck, all I know are half the vocabulary of profanities in the native lingo and the other half are excuses for leaving early before I am forced to marry anyone of them. But this tribe does not looked like any I knew." I explained myself to the doctor who is clearly now shaken although he holds the AK47 in his hands. Oh, of all the bloody luck the poor doctor has wet himself.

I step forth and walked to the one I assumed is the leader. They don't grow too tall in these parts, so I had no problem looking at the chap in the eye. I smiled at the warrior and made some effort in sign languages. After a few lucid display of fingers and palms movements, the warrior actually responded.

He points to the doctor and used his hands to drew an outline of the map. I got his meaning so I spoke out loud to the doctor.

"Doc, he wants the map. Please give it to him unless you want your bones to found in the next Jeffersonian Expedition in 2025, assuming they get financing for it by then." The bloody idiot protested that the map means everything to him, but he soon relented when one of the warrior walked up to him. He gave the map to the warrior who promptly took it and gobble it in the mouth. He then swallowed the whole mashed up map. Maybe the ink was peppermint. It is as the warrior expunged the smell quite clearly in front of us. The dark warriors then turned their back on us and walked back into the forest.

"Are they gone?" The doctor had to ask. I nodded and proceeded to pick up the bags and tools.

"Time to leave, Doctor. I doubt they want us around when they come for their bath."

"Hold on, Blake. I need to use the bathroom. Do you know where I can....drop it?" I turned to look at the doctor.

"This is the jungle. Just do it anywhere. After all, I believe yours are biodegradable. I won't peek, so just do it but don't take too long. I can see some Boa' moving in the bushes." I solved the constipation problem and did not defile the environment with the leftovers of some questionable digested burger meats and french fries.

I waved the doctor off as he took to his Land Rover to drive back to what he termed as civilization. He did give me a bonus to keep quiet on the trip as he intends to come back with more people and guns. He however left me the AK47, Remington and Glock. I walked over to Maru' and met Kiru, the local 'expert in maps'.

"Kiru, that is the last time I am taking any of your gullible buyers up river again. Your map is too bloody accurate and there are those friends of your. Tell them not to sharpen those blades. Its considered as dangerous weapon if I am cut by any of it." Kiru is the local contender for selling fake maps and worse, replicated antiques made across the border.

"Jon, you mean these maps." Kiru raised his hand up and showed me the green inked map on the sun dried lotus leaf. "It was drawn by my senile dad. He drew it for fun. There ain't no such marking up in Killo River. Its all a grand scam for two dollars a piece. With that kind of price, do you think I can afford to pay some warriors to intimidate you?"

"Kiru, did you sell those guns to him too?" Kiru shook his head.

"Nay, it was my cousin, Tiru. They are legit stuff. I saw him peddle them to the drug barons. They just shot an hour ago. You got a problem with him too?"

I looked at Kiru and I shake my head. Those guns have no firing pins in them.

"Kiru, is there no one in your family not involved in the con business?" I had to asked him.

"I don't know. Unless you can leave out Cousin Timi. He was sent to prison trying to sell Queen E's Will to the FBI. He won't be involved for a long time. Maybe twenty years....or more."