Arrogant Bloke Tales 2; At work last night

Excuse me for calling up so early but could you tone down the noise. You are waking up the other occupants. And from the sound of crashing; I presumed you will be paying the bill before you leave.

Oh, yes. There is another hotel by the name California, but we here are named New California.

Yes, ma'am. We are blazing hot but its the barbeque we served.

Yes, we do have tequila but for now, we will send you the new sheets. Housekeeping drew a line on over soiled linens.

Your husband wore diapers. Oops, I am sorry, ma'am. I must have misdialled your room number. I do apologies and please return to sleep.

No, Ma'am. Your husband snoring did not cause us to call you. It was the room next door.

Yes, I know it will work. Earplugs are useful. I won't suggest nose plugs. He may suffocate.

I would loan you a hammer but Maintenance does not work at this hour.

I know the lyrics of El Condor Pasa. Yes, it sounded like 'I'd rather be a hammer than a nail'.

Oh, you meant El Paso? Yes, I could sing you the chorus.
One night a wild young cowboy came in Wild as the West Texas wind
Dashing and daring, a drink he was sharing
With wicked Felina, the girl that I loved

No, ma'am. I doubt it was a cowboy with the wicked feline next room. They may be decent folks too.

No, ma'am. We can't assist you in replicating their actions in your room. We ain't in the Special Effects section. We are the Reception Counter.

No, ma'am. That is Hollywood, and here is Hotel California.

I believed your husband did not buy you a fake holiday. We do have nice rooms here in the hotel.

You faked it for over twenty years and he does not know? I wouldn't comment on that, ma'am. I am just the Receptionist here..

You wanted what?  A drilling workout like next door. Sorry, ma'am. This is the Reception. We don't do that. We only get drilled daily by the guests.

Yes, Ma'am. It's a tough job. So, shut up and go to sleep now. Or I shove you with the bedpost.

Thank you, Ma'am. We aim to please. Goodnight then.

Hotel California III

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

It was near to dusk when I halt the platoon. We still on the ridge on the hillside and there were covers there with the under growths and tree low branches. The others stopped in their tracks and crouched down. It was the standard procedure in patrols. They will be in a triangle from behind me, I was doing point, and with the six of us, it was five in the formation and the one that guarded our flank was a distance behind. The flanker held no fixed formation but moved to cover our backs.

I took out the binoculars. It held a built-in thermal lens. I switched to that and watched the bunker. The place was our destination. Christ! The bunker was built into the hill with the exit at the rear. The front of it with the open slit facing the valley below which was our primary order; to observe and report. It was a recce task and we were the third platoon to undertake it. The other two had retreated in fear despite their training. They flee with the officer and reported ‘demons and blood’. I could not protest to the commanding officer. It was my responsibility to accept the task.

We moved down and soon was in the bunker. I went in first and saw the equipment there all damaged. The chairs and table were still intact and so were the sleeping cots although it was to one corner. There was the writing on the wall. It was sprayed on.

Welcome to the Hotel California with the smiley face at the end.

“Corporal Gareth, set up the observation equipment at the opening.” I knew my second in command; the lad was from the docks. He was a tough Welsh-born and bred before he joined the Army. Private Matthew joined the Corporal to set up the observation equipment. That included the thermal and infra sighting equipment.

“Ian, you and Brian set up the defenses. I don’t want to be surprised with the claw at my throat.” The two Londoners grabbed their kit and went outside. They are the demolition and tripwires attached to explosives specialists. They were raised in the area of bricks and mortars but their training in the Army made them better at the new environment.

“Marlon, you set up the communication lines. I want to hear the CO better than your mother’s ramblings.” Marlon’s mother called weekly and when she gets us, she won’t stop telling me of her son, Marlon and her old Sicilian ways. It was a laughing game for all of us for Marlon was from Bristol.

“Harris, your old dog. Do your recce. I need to know where we are.” Corporal Harry Blanchard, the Scots was my flanker. He disliked being in the close quarters. He was a free soul when he was young with long walks in the highlands. He also likes to eat oat pieces of bread which he got it to send from his homeland.

My platoon was the recce specialist with the rifles; we are also called snipers. We are short in the numbers with the Lieutenant on leave and one other specialist, Logan was interned for medical ailments. We were short in the company and when the task came up, we were volunteered. We are the toughest in the Army or claimed by ourselves. Heck! It did well for our motivation and the battles read to our favor.

Soon after at our supper break, we all sat down to have a rest. Harris was still outside, possibly in his dugout and covered with moss and leaves. He was the best in the platoon but was a loner. The last attribute worked well for a sniper.

“Sarge, permission to speak.” I looked at Brian. He just joined us two months ago there in the Balkans. I liked him; the youngest among us and the only redhead. We do call him Red which irate him so we stopped. Well, on occasions we still do.

“Yes, you can and out here without the LT, you can call me by my name.” I was informal with my mates. It was one way to bond and we knew our boundaries. We do drink and held our glasses high on those events but when it comes to duty, I trust them with my life. And their’ with me.

“Jimmy, what is this place? I heard the others retreated in fear. There were four casualties. Three were wounded and refused to talk. The others unhurt but were lie shell shocked. Or PSTD.” Brian raised a concern that I knew was a matter that needed to be addressed. The others were polite in my books, but they held their questions to the last. Or let the new one speaks first. I had seen the religious icons on their necks and chests. We may be killers or takers of lives, but we still have our beliefs in the faith. I was a free thinker. Ten years on the street and another ten in the Army had hardened my belief was my own doing. The last ten was more on my weapons from the Army issued blade to the handgun and the semi-automatic. I saw Marlon had his rifle etched with the Sicilian symbol of the  ‘omerta’. It meant the ‘code of silence’ and literally means “manhood”. It was the idea of a man dealing without the help of a law-body. I asked Marlon of his code but was stifled by the silent treatment.

“Brian, ignore those tales. We don’t have any confirmation. And the CO had sent the SAS to investigate and there was nothing. And now we are here. We will do our primary task.” I advised Brian. I looked to the others who looked away from my glare. They were not convinced but they have sworn allegiance to me, and it meant we are in it together.

“Hotel California? Was that the song…” Marlon then started humming the song. And everyone added in the lyrics to the best of their knowledge. It was an old song but stayed as the favorite to be played on the radio waves. We did not hear the communication call from Harris for a moment. It was Marlon who heard it and held up his hands. He then took the hearing unit and listened in.

“Fuck ye laddies. We are on a task here. Not a Sunday choir. So, stop the merriment.” Corporal Harris did the harsh reminder on all of us on the main communication unit. We all have personal communication units but we were too loud to hear it. I canceled the singing and then told them to rest. I was to take the first watch. Matthew next and then just before dawn, Ian.

When I was on duty, I played the reports I read on the last two platoons. It was not much with the platoon members keeping quiet except for some ramblings.

“Demons.”

“Wolves.”

“Blood drinkers.”

Three key words recorded. The doctors’ diagnosis was ‘fear’ was eating them from the inside. I have seen soldiers with such disorders. They were the sufferers of losses of friends’ holding or seeing their friends die in battles. Or the massacre scene; it can be unnerving for the new recruits. They have never seen a mass grave before. It took time to absorb the fear. The Army has two approaches to the issue; hardened them or shipped them back. The last was the discharge order.

I may have snoozed off and then I heard the sound. It was not a noise but some sort of sound. I woke up and reached for my semi-automatic. Army issued rifle; the SA80 which fires the 5.56x45mm NATO, with an effective range of three hundred meters, 30 rounds detachable clip, and at over six hundred rounds per minute. That was for close combat. Harris, Corporal Gareth, and Ian also have the L115A3. Each of us carried a pouch with the .338 Lapua Magnum and the loaded five rounds in the clip. The rifle was the sniper weapon with a range of over 1,500 meters. We can drop the enemy with one shot in the head.

“Harris. Give me a rep.” I communicated to Corporal Harris.

No reply. I tried a few more times. No answers. It was time to wake the others.

“Gareth, I am going out. I want the place watched.” I unlatched the rear door. It was wooden and with a thickness of two fingers gap. I opened the door and went out. Someone closed the door behind me. I heard the latch was placed in again. I was alone out there in the darkness. I had to wait for a while for the eyes to adjust. The darkness soon became clearer but I strapped on my night goggles. I looked around to see any abnormalities. Funny, how I used that term. I should say heat traces. They were a few but too small to be a human.

“Harris. I am coming out. Rear entrance.” I was not keen to be shot by that mad Scots. I half crouched and took a short dash towards the tree trunk. I had marked it as T1. It was our mapping guidance. I moved onto the next tree designated T2. I knew Harris mode of camouflage. He maintained a distance of about two hundred feet away but which direction. I deduced that Harris will be on the higher level to hold a wider view of the bunker and the valley. I have my area triangulated into a narrow beam of forty degrees view. I focussed there and looked for any abnormalities. Again, I used that word.

I could not find Harris and his enclosure. He was either getting better or dead. The later was our last conclusion but a possibility. I switched my angle of search and found him next to the tree designated T13.

“Damn you, Harris. You could have found a better tree.” I mumbled to myself. I knew Harris was a ‘bad omen’ chap despite his wilderness skills. Harris confessed to me he visits the ‘big toe of David Hume’ in Edinburgh when he was in the city. He was secretive about it.

I dashed over and then reached the hidden spot. There was no Harris but he left his poncho there. And his L115A3. Loaded and armed. It was not Harris or any of my mates careless doing. They knew my rules. Your weapons with you even if you go to the bathroom. I moved his poncho to check on his other kits. It was all there, except his SA80. I looked out and tried to figure out where he could have gone missing.

“Sarge ...” The communication buzzed. It was from Harris. “There are some …. Thing out there.”

“Be clear, Corporal.” I disliked understood messages. “Over.”

“Sarge, I am not sure but something is out there. I doubt its human.” Harris was not the one to be spooked. I was not that too. Not anymore since then. I was getting spooked. I don’t know why but the words from the reports played into my mind.

“Oh, fuck it.” I tried to reinforce my strength. I tried to remember the prayers which I used to recite. I hoped it works for I heard from Harris next.

“Sarge, three o’clock. Down the hill. The second line of defense. Number five.” Ian had a style for his trips. He sets them in a semi-circular pattern with three lines, it was eight, five and three deployments. The second line of five trips was inside the designated perimeter. Ian placed a broken branch with leave at the first and last trip fifteen feet apart. Then after it was thirty feet between the lines. I paced out the lines and the trips. I looked at number five. It was in-between the trees there.

There was something there. It was not moving.

“Harris, I am going there.” I made my way down. It was almost to the valley bed. I saw the small creek there. The water was flowing there.

“Cover me,” I called Harris. I was about twenty feet away. I looked hard. It was covered with leaves and unmoving. I crawled on and then saw my item of interest. It was a fox. Most unusual to find one. It was still alive. I could see the exhaling in its snort. I reached it and the creature snarled at me. I swept the leaves away and saw the wound. It was not a gunshot wound but a tear in the belly. The blood was still seeping out. It was coloring the ground beneath the fox. The wound was recent and the covered leaves were also recent. I reached out to the fox head and noticed it had stopped breathing.

I knew about foxes. My ex-wife was doing research on it when she was doing her papers on Myths of the Forest. She will tell me these tales when all I wanted to do was sleep or fuck. Heck! I was in my early thirties and I only get to see her on my furlough.

“Jimmy, the fox is a trickster.” I thought she was one too. She tricked me to marry her saying she was with my child It was a hoax. “In Europe to the U.K., they are considered the same. The Scots called them tod in “traditional term” and was represented as Lowrence. In Finland, the fox thought weaker and smaller could outfox the bear. It was in the Middle Ages the fox was associated with wiliness and fraudulent behavior. They were also sacrificed in rituals as the symbols of the Devil.”

I called her the Tasmanian Devil. We went out ways after three years. She cleaned out my bank accounts before she left. Bitch!

“Harris. It was a fox. I am bringing it in.” I learned to carry the carcass and it was then I heard the other sound. It was an eerie note. It brought me the coldness over my body.

“Banshee?” The word came to my lips.

“Yes, Sarge. They are here.” Harris spoke into my communications. “They are wailing the death is coming.”

“I am going back in.” I communicated to Harris. “Watch me back.”

It was then I heard the shot. I don’t who and where it came from but I ducked deep into the ground. I waited and there were no more shots. I press the comms to Harris.

“Who did that?” There was no reply. I communicated to the Gareth.

“No idea, Sarge. We are looking.” Gareth replied. “Ian said he saw something but could not make it out.”

“Stay alert. I am coming in. Nine o’clock. Don’t hump my back.” I crawled forward. It was slower to ascent the hillside. I made a short dash between the trees and bushes. I made ten paces when I heard the explosion. It was Ian’s handiwork to my far left. I saw the leaves billowed in the winds but no screams. I expected something alive to scream. There was none. The second trip went off and it was nearer to me. I ducked down and waited.

No screams.

Then the shots went out. It was from the bunker to the opposite hillside and the valley. There were reciprocated with return fire. There were some screams.

Human ones.

Wounded by the sound of it.

Was it fatal?

Then I saw the muzzle flash and then the missile was seen by me impacting the bunker. Damn, I was not expecting such resistance. We had no intel on the enemies having RPG or launchers in the area. It was either madness or lack of intel. I had to get back to my mates.

“Gareth, I am coming in hard.” I stood up and ran. I picked my legs over the roots and stepped on the dead leaves. Another trip went off and it was to my right. There were no trips there. I stopped and leaned on the tree trunk. I was about fifty feet to the bunker but I needed to know who planted the trip there. The one which exploded.

It then dawned on me I have moved position. I was no more on the nine o’clock approach but the two o’clock. I was baffled how I could have run across instead of upwards. I turned to look at the bunker. It was to my right. How could it have moved? Maybe it was me. I press the communication to Harris.

Harris did not reply.

The bullet barely missed me. It went in deep into the trunk just above my head. If I had not crouched down, I would have been part of the tree.

“Gareth.” I change the channel. And it was then I saw the firing inside the bunker and then another missile impacted on the bunker below the observation opening. I think part of the fragments of the missile could have penetrated the wall there. My mates were inside. I charged out and with the SA80 emptying the clip to my rear, I ran rashly towards the bunker. I was shot at but the bullets missed me. I reached the bunker wall and then I made my way to the rear. I stopped at the doorway.

“It's me. I am coming in.” I pushed the door, and it was unlatched. I had to push harder to open the door. The smell of cordite and blood impacted on my nose. I shook my head before I stepped in. I saw my mates there.

Gareth was lifeless. He was hit on the face, chest, and legs. With the flak jacket, the protection was not much to rave about. It cannot cover everywhere. We were not issued bulletproof visors.

Ian was with a huge hole in the chest. I suspected the fragment from the missile did that mess.

Marlon was curled on the ground, and his wound was in his buttocks. He could have run for safety and was hit.

Brian was unhurt, but he huddled below the torn wall. He was holding his knees with his arms. He was sobbing in fear.

The weird eerie sound resonated in the valley then. Then I saw Harris stepped in. He looked like a wreck. Maybe it was the camouflage but he had a wounded left shoulder.

“It was the demons. The Banshee warned us. It was too late.” Harris moaned out. “I tried to hunt the Banshee. I wanted to silence it. It was too fast. It moved so fast that I cannot get my aim on it. I return here.”

I heard Harris and then checked the equipment. All of it was disabled or damaged by the explosion. I told Harris to get Ian, and Marlon.

“We are retreating.” I looked at the wordings on the wall.

Welcome to the Hotel California with the smiley face at the end.

I took out my red marker pen. I strike out the words California. I wrote Osnabruck. It was the ancient stone structure that was assumed to be part of a pagan temple and graveyard. It was also the site of a bloody massacre of priests during Charlemagne's reign.

“Are you bloody mad?” Harris hit me. “You are doing graffiti when we are to save our asses.”

Across the hillside, another pair of soldiers were stationed there. One of the pair was wounded.

“Dummkopt, Edwin. I told you to keep your head down.” Corporal Ernest held the younger recruit in his arms. They were assigned to watch the valley by the High Command. The pair were part of the KSK Kommando Spezialkrafte ( KSK ) and had camped there for three nights. They ignored the bunker for there were rumors of it being haunted.

“We camped in the rough. We are KSK.” Corporal Ernest took pride in the unit. “We are not weiners.”

The task was to observe and they saw the men descend into the bunker. They saw them set up tripwires.

“Verboten works in the forest. The inhabitants could be hurt.” Edwin was an advocate for wild animal safety.

It was Edwin’s fault when he tilted the binoculars into the direction of the sun. The sunlight could have deflected off it. The shot came then. Edwin was hit on the left side of the face. He was barely alive when the Corporal returned fire. The HK MP5 fires 800 rounds per minute of its 19mm Parabellum to a maximum of two hundred meters. He emptied both the rifles and then reached for the heavier gun. The HK 21 Light machine gun carries the NATO issued 5.56 with nine hundred rounds per minute and further distance of over two thousand meters. It was an effective cover fire gun but against the bunker thick wall, it was just redecorating the wall surface.

“I will get you.” The Corporal picked up the MBT LAW ( Main Battle Tank Light Anti Tank Weapon ) loaned to them by the British Army to counter the heavily armored tanks. The gun fires the 150mm Warhead to an effective maximum range of six hundred meters.

“Arschloch!” The Corporal cursed in German when he released the missile. It impacted on the bunker wall. He tossed that aside to use the machine gun. He emptied the clip and tossed that aside. He saw the second MBT LAW and grabbed it. He leveled it and braced for the recoil. He pressed the trigger and watched the impact just below the observation opening. The wall was partially brought down. He was exalted with the shot.

“Now we go home, Edwin.” The Corporal grabbed the later over and made his way up the hillside.

Two days later, I made my report to the Commanding Officer. I was sent to the rear of the line and rested. A week later, I appeared in front of the Martial Court. I was told of the new findings.

“We sent a bigger patrol out. We recovered the other bodies and some equipment. The rest we destroyed.” The Major handling the proceedings reported to the Panel of Senior Officers. “We found only a 5.56 mm caliber. No 7.62 mm at all. We can’t pin that on assumed enemies. We found another dugout on the opposite hillside and it was cleared of any evidence. It was unusual but we have no more evidence. We also did not find anything out of the normal. No demons or signs of it.”

I gave my testimony that I was outside. I did not see any demons. I did not report on the weird sound. No one will believe me of the Banshee.

Harris decided to remain silent and was discharged with a need to undergo medical checks. Marlon and Brian were sent back and given desk duty. Marlon left six months later and became a priest. I was retained in the Army. I was transferred to Logistics. I was logging in deliveries schedules

Hauptmann Brandt has sent a clean-up team to clear the dugout. “Leave no trace of our people.” In their report, they did not see any bunker as reported by the previous do. It was dismissed as battle fatigue. Corporal Ernest was promoted and given a commendation. Edwin died from his wound and given a posthumous award and his family the pension.

“It all ends well. Like before, they won’t know.” The elderly man placed his left hand on the young boy’s shoulder. “The valley has its own way to protect itself. Do you understand.”

“Yes, grandfather.” The kid replied and then adjusted the volume on this headphone. It was playing an old song.

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Song Lyrics from the song Hotel California

Arrogant Bloke Tales 1; At the last weekend

“Well, hello to all. I can see we got the full strength out. Saturday’s does that the soul.”

“Yeah, Ronnie. Drum me a pint. And one more when I finished this one. The man without the pint is a half-pint. You get what I mean.”

“Pardon me, Jack. Never meant you at all. You are a fine bloke to have at my side. I know my armpits are unwashed but between blokes, who cares.”

“Hang on to your push up soles, I got to say hello to Marty. Have you not seen him for a while? So, how’s life with you?”

“You were here last weekend? I must have missed you. Oh, you were with the others. Those are boys. Yes, ma’am and No, sir that’s their replies. Are they with any Regiment colors? None, huh. It figures, just a bunch of academics with suspenders to keep their pants on. I heard they balled each other.”

“Lawn bowling was it? That was their uniform. Oh, well, it sounded like someone’s balls. I am into the Premier. I never miss the Liverpool game. We are the champions.”

“Fine, we lost the last Premier Cup but we will be back. I saw Salah took the goal last weekend. It was spectacular.”

“Huh, Liverpool drew nil? Are you sure? I saw it on TV. And I don’t need no VAR to replay that goal. It was superb.”

“I should call Salah to tell him not to score so many. He was disturbing my runs to the bathroom during a match. I have to pee. I do not want to miss the scoring.”

“Into the bottle? I did and the milkman complained. He said the bottle like piss. I dare not tell him why. He will stop my pints of milk.”

“Was it? A replay of an older match or the score? How can it is done?”

“VAR? I am calling my cable TV to complain about.”

The phone rang.

“Yup, Charlie Bugger Unique here. Who’s on the line?”

“Stella? Can you repeat that?”

“Oh, I will be there. Soon, my dear. Don’t come without me…… Yes, you can diddle.”

The phone was shut off.

“Hey, Jack. What’s up with you? I was ….”

“Stella? Your Stella. Heck, I was not. I met this ….. Stella last week, and we sort of …”

“Look, Jack. I am no lying bastard. I won’t ball my own bloke’s missus. It will be rude.”

“Oh, your aunt. That was a long time ago. It was Halloween, and I was scared stiff.”

“Hold your emotions, Jack. You know who much it affects your pressure. You need to calm down. Stella is probably at home waiting for you. Or she may come for you.”

“Stella is not. How would you know she won’t come?”

“I meant here to pick you. I know you can make her come. I was just …”

“You have not been home? Oh, she has not been home both weekends. How would I know where she was?”

“What? You smelled my armpit scent on her. God, Ronnie. Did you serve one too many tonight?”

“Hey, Jack. We are still good blokes, right? Don’t leave me without saying we are.”

Jack walked off and the phone rang.

“Hello.”

“Yes, I know. It’s my apartment. The door should read as 504. I will be there.”

“Yes, Stella. I love you too. And there and there…”

The phone gets hung up.

“Oh, hi Jack. I thought you left. Picked your coat huh?"”

“No, that was my Stella and she is at the hotel waiting for me.”

“My unit? You got to be pulling my wank. I don’t bring ladies to my dirt hole.”

“Okay, Jack. You go on home. Stella will be there.”

“And if she is not? That’s a good question. I have no replies to that. I am not Stella.”

“For your sex? I guess self-exploration could be recommended. I read of this P-Orgasm. It’s the simulation of the prostrate to have an orgasm. You need to reach you know your butt and pressed for it.”

“Bye, Jack. I know you are not gay. And I am sorry if you can’t feel your prostate. Me too.”

“There goes, Jack. Nice bloke. So, where’s my second pint? Do I need to pee to get another one?”

“I am sorry, mate. Did I intrude on your private space?”

“Oh, your emerald girl said I touch her? Or where? Was it wet?”

“Hey, don’t get rough. I know my fighting skills. I spend two years at Belmarsh. Things don’t get any 

tougher than Belmarsh.”

“Okay, I may have … you know touched her. But seriously, I am a wreck when it comes to kryptonite. I am like Superman. I detest green kinds of stuff.”

“Or emerald is not kryptonite. Sorry, I am color blind.”

“Leaving so soon. See ya, Luthor. “

“You are bald. I bet with you a rolled-up five she is not.”

“Hey, I warned you. I won’t go down on you. She …. I may consider. 69?”

” Thanks, Ronnie. You have done a swell job. Knew that baseball bat meant more than just sit on it. They are leaving anyway.”

“So, where were we? Football or screwing?”

The phone rang.

“504, Stella. 605 is your unit with Jack.”

The phone gets hung up.

“Never understand women. They only look down. How else would they know which unit belongs to them?”

The phone rang.

“Yes, it’s 504. No, it’s not the length of what. It’s the Unit number. And yes, it’s on the ground level. They built the building on the hillside. Its four levels below the street. And 504 is on the street.”

“How would I know why I can’t get a unit below? It was my mother’s”.

“No, Jack is on 605.”

“He is not home? How would I know?”

“Oh, hello Jack. You are still here.”

“Never left. Just picked up your coat and hat again. Wrong one earlier? Nicer ones you got there.”

“Never knew you were going bald?”

“I wouldn’t know. Was she too?”

“Oh, you meant my wife, Darcy? I think she was. Never could tell. Those hairs grew like locusts on the cornfield.”

“Huh? You with Darcy now?”

“Good blokes take care of each other’s wives? I never said that.”

“Hey, Jack. I am not being rude but Darcy is above your playtime.”

“You what? I won’t forgive you for that. How could you take her to the next level of sex? I thought I was the master here?”

“Oh, she did to you huh? No wonder you are getting bald. I can see she really pull you out.”

“Bye, Jack. I hope you lose your scalp too.”

“Me? Jealous? Why should I be? He is paying Darcy and she pays the bills in the house. I get paid by Stella whom I pay you to keep my tabs going. Tell me, Ronnie. Would you let go of such an opportunity?”

“Goodnight, Ronnie. I got an appointment at 504. Is Liverpool playing tonight?”

Tweet...tweet 29/10... picking up from the songs

Don't cry, Joni
Hotel California

Among the many songs' I grew up with. I was no singer material; I sang tow lines for the choir selection at eight years old and was told to return to class soon after. I just croaked when I should hold the vocals. Maybe if they asked me to play the Frog in The Princess and Frog, I might do better but in an all boy's school, I will take a 'monsoon rain' check. 

What's a monsoon rain? Its a combination of the storm with ye mother in law playing God on the clouds. That was how heavy the raindrops and the shrieking thunderstorm. I won't elaborate on the lightning; they blazed like firestorms.

Okay, back to the songs.

I started off with JONI and ME; And I did not select the name JIMMY from the song. It was my fav and I liked it. Much later, I married a lady named AMY and not JONI or TONI or OMG ( She was OMG but I was struck down like MOG or Mudded On Ground. Yup, her beau then was bigger than me. No, I did not peek. It was his chest I was looking at from eye level I sang MJ's lines; I am not a fighter. I am a lover. Struck out at the Second Base... flat on my face and they ruled me out. I should had known it was not baseball I was playing but cricket. You don't run in like a mad hare after tossing the bat. Anyway, I was tossed out of the team.

That straighthen out, let us get back to the songs.

I sang; psst.... can we all swear to maintain the peace in my life... of whatever years I may have... Fine, we all have an understanding.... As I was saying I sang that song a few times. It was sobbing moments then. LIke when I samg "TELL LAURA ..... I loved HER." I woke my neighbor. Her dog was named LAURA. It did not stop me then until they branded this lady tampon; LAURIE. I stopped singing that song.

I have also sung OH, CAROL. I love you. Well, it worked until AMY gave me a funny grin. ( Have you read MAD magazines and the guy always smiling there on the cover. That was her imitation of it. )

One of my relatives ( Last I recalled that word still appeared in the Webster Dictionary unless they changed the alternative definition as 'marred person identified by bloody link of relations', married a lady named CAROL. Jugs, it tasted like sour milk in my throat after that. Pardon me, blokes. That's the decent bit of it. As in French, Cela ne devrait pas être dit ici ( It should not be said here. ) I hear thee, Mama. I will sit in the corner. No, Mama. I won't stare below.

At some stage of my life, I was into SEX PISTOLS ( betcha that brought back many memories to those who were my age group), POLICE, NIRVANA, LED ZEPPELIN. I could go on but soon after a while, I had to get my ears cleaned of wax I had stuffed in. Those were the days when the broomstick could be the imitation electric guitar. I drew the line though to wear my mum's bra on my forehead.

Well, I mellowed and ended listening to ANNE MURRAY and ELIZABETH NEWTON JOHN and others. With the dash of BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN, and QUEEN in between. Bloody dinna understand the lyrics but heck I could cover the dance hall with my solo like JOHN TRAVOLTA in Saturday Night Fever. The lady singers were to croon with the girls then, but the others were when I got sidestepped. I think the correct terminology was being jilted.

Anyway back to the two songs I did the tales; five in the series of each song. It just came to me naturally ( hold the accolades, I will take fivers and pounds please ) and the fingers swooned over the keyboard. The tales unfold before me. I tried to vary the contents to add varieties toward it. I know the tendency to do the LGBT ( IO do have other contents but someone highlighted to me on this ) but two factors weighed in on them; sex sells, and LGBT was the unique approach. It's a taboo subject to almost half the world we live in, and more than half have seen it on their TV sets or through the internet.

I end my piece with another song I used to sing.

Que será, será
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que será, será
What will be, will be

And pardon the CAPSLOCK on above. It was my definitive way of saying THANK YOU to them who shaped my thoughts on the growing years. 

Cheers

Hotel California II

Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year (Any time of year)
You can find it here

I got the room there. It was a gesture of exchanging the good old value currencies. I pushed the money across and the staff opened the door. Housekeeping has the master key to the rooms. That will save me waiting at the lobby.

It was a standard hotel room below the four stars grade. There was a bed; there was always a bed in the hotel room. It was to sleep in for most and fucked by the many, but I could not imagine if anyone jumped on it. The frame of the bed had changed. It used to be held up by four stands but then they made the bed frame like a box. The weight was distributed around, and I can guess you can jump on it. The mattress was reinforced with springs and the soft padding to prevent you from feeling those springs. Well, I did tell myself if it’s good to hump on you can bloody well jump.

Every hotel room had the dresser that acts for every other missing piece of furniture. There may be one other it will have the chair. It won’t be comfortable but whoever comes to the room to sit. And you can’t hump on the chair. It will break under the pressure. You could do it in the bathroom. The hotels with the lower stars won’t have a tub or the sauna. Have you ever found yourself fucking in one of those? It narrows or rounded to stretch or even have someone lay prone over you in those spaces. I prefer to pee into it. It got a bigger area to drain some peed. They replaced it with the shower. That was functional and you go at it upright. Or bent over. Doesn’t matter, it worked there.

Don’t forget the wide mirror there. It was the cinematic screen but the action was whoever in the shower. I won’t recommend looking at it. You might be horrified by the sight; it’s not every moment we get to see ourselves full frontal. I know there was the other mirror in the bedroom but that was for the dressing.

Well, the hotel room had it all and more. The mirror was over the ceiling; well that was new to me.

I did not have to wait long. I was seated at the chair.

“Oh, darling. You could wait till we are in.” They stepped in. They were still smooching. The door was kicked shut like the way I would but mine needed to be latched. Here in the hotel, they locked automatically.

Then she saw me.

“Jimmy?” She pulled away from the other. The other turned and saw me. It was another lady. It was always a man but I was not prepared of the other. She was dressed in the dark overcoat. She was a brunette and was about her height. I don’t know and did not want to know how she looked like beneath. I was furious.

“Joni, tell your friend to leave.” I voiced out calmly.

“Jimmy….”

“Hey, I paid for the room.” The lady glared at me.

“You can get a refund at the reception. Now fuck off before I ….. raped you in the arse.” There was still calmness in my voice. I was straining to control it. The lady left and I was alone with my wife.

My missus for over twenty years.

My lover who shared my bed for that long. We were both virgins when we took the vow.

The lady who opened her legs to give birth to my two boys.

The ones I contributed to my sperms. Well, then I thought I was. Maybe I had.

“Jimmy, I can ….. “

“Sit down, Joni. On the bed. I have no other chairs for you.” I crossed my legs then. She sat down and kept her legs closed. She was dressed in the green overcoat and beneath it the light green dress that I bought her last Christmas. She was wearing the shoes she bought to match it. And the yellow scarf. She even got her hair tinged with some green streaks. It was crazy that a lady at her age needed to do that. We were all greying and I left mine there. I wanted to look my age.

“How long has it been?” I asked. “The ….”

“Soon after Ben went to college.” That was a year ago. “I was lonely. And you were at odds on the role of a father and a husband.”

“Was it sex then? And why her?” I felt as if my balls were yanked off.

“It was then, and then the feeling of being wanted. I knew her two months ago.” I only learned of the hotel rendezvous only two weeks. Joni was at her ‘class’ on Wednesday and Friday evenings. And sometimes on Saturdays. I was away on Monday, Thursday, and Sunday I was with my mother. She was staying at the Retirement Home. We visited her to say hello. Then I knew I hardly see Joni at all. If I ever did, was to peek at her in the morning or late night when she was dressing up. She was very much her beauty; the children's births did not outdo her look. She was always concerned about her looks. I was coaxed into that too. I attend the gym thrice weekly in the morning before work, and eat my greens for lunch.

Fucks? We have them but in the later, we missed them citing ‘tired and can we do it later’. I was distracted too. We had a few, perfunctory. And then it was the sleep. That was not a rarity but I felt good to sleep was few then.

“Funny you will ask me why?” Joni hit back. “You were not there when I needed you. You were working or playing balls with the other boys. You hardly played with your own.”

“They are grown. And they played those computer games. I could not get them into the green fields and fresh air. Not that recycled air in their room.” I argued back.

“Yeah, that’s right. You could not bond with them anymore. Field games are over but there was other stuff. Do you know Ben has a girlfriend? He was fucking her in our bed. I questioned him. And he told me it was annoyed us. You more especially. He hated you for not being there. He is screwing you.”

“No! I was not …” I sighed. “I have tried. No, I am still trying. Does that give you permission to fuck a woman? Could you at least fuck a man? Choose anyone. I do have friends, man they are. With pricks. Why can’t you choose one of them? John, Jack or even Stevie. He always tells he loved you too.”

“I could and I did. I had three lovers before Madge. They were all men. One was nineteen like Ben. They only wanted my body. Not my soul. Did you?” 

I laughed at her words. Then I had to ask.

“Was it because we are all selfish?”

“Yes, Madge was accommodating. She has the breasts for me to nestle on like when I did as a young girl. She knew where I wanted to be touched. She knew how to hold me, and when to get the rhythm going. It was no wham bang ma’am routine.”

“You were lifeless. I tried to be with you. I … “

“I know you tried it hard. I did too. You think the surprise nightie and the tight vests with my nipples out were for me. It was all done for you.” I remember them well. It was five years ago. The times when we still fuck weekly.

“What happened, Jimmy?”

“No, I am asking the questions here. You tell me …. What happened?”

“I am a woman with needs. And I found it outside. Did you not find yours too?” 

I did not answer her. I left her in the hotel room by herself. I walked out and took it to the lobby. I walked to the Reception. I was given a room number. I went up and knocked on the door. It was opened and I went in. She walked before me. She was into the garters and corsets.

“You are late.” I heard my mistress. I took off my clothes. I had on the rubber ball gag in my mouth. I lay down on the bed faced down. There were no words exchanged between us. She was paid to hurt me. She was good at it.

I was bad.

That’s why I came to the Hotel. It was the meeting place for sinners. We called it the Hotel Cali. When we are there, we are like the many men in the history annals.

Caligula the Mad Emperor of Rome.

Rasputin the Mad Priest.

They were all into the sexual acts.

So was I.

Was it? History will tell. I am just another blimp in that record.

"Relax," said the night man
"We are programmed to receive
You can check-out any time you like
But you can never leave!"

 Lyrics extracted from the song ‘Hotel California’.

Joni and Me V

I packed my clothes
And I caught a plane
I had to see Joni
I had to explain
How my heart was filled
With her memory
And ask my Joni if she'd marry me

The radio fizzled out. It was probably the reception or dark clouds. I could not care less then. I was driving the busload of town folks including some children. It was madness that day. It all began when I stepped off the bus that late afternoon. I was back from my tour of Vietnam. I was holding the rank of Master Gunnery in the Marines. The folks there at the bus station stared at me then. I was in my uniform and held my duffel bag on the shoulder. It was not strange to be stared at with the war at Vietnam regarded as us being the invaders instead of restoring democracy. I took it to the flower shop and asked for some flowers.

It was for Joni.

I knew she married John ten years ago. She was my girl before and I left her. I had to then; the farm was going to be sold and the opportunities there were few. I went to the city and stayed homeless for six months before I joined the Marines. It was tough but no tougher than the chores I did at the farms. I was posted to ‘Nam’ that was what they called it then, fought and protected my mates in the platoon, went on the recce and killed some ‘Vietcong’s’. Those phrases still rang in my mind. We slept and fought regardless of the weather, and withdrew or advance on orders. It was time to be a new person.

But Joni never left my mind.

I was sheltering under my poncho with my mates. They have a photo of their girl while I had was her image in my mind. I tried to remember her as the girl next door, or in my case, the next farm. We were in love, but at the age of fifteen, I was reluctant to commit her to my miserable life. I left the town in pain and her in tears. Five years later, I left in tears with the pain for she married my best friend, John. I returned to ‘Nam’ and became a killer.

It took the Marines some time to straighten me out and I decided to come back.

“Sir, your flowers are ready.” I looked at the elderly man who ran the shop. I gave him the money and then asked him in the town.

“Why is everyone leaving?” I saw the exodus at the station. The folks were holding bags and the children were all silent. It was unlike the other stations I had been to. They were not on holiday but leaving for good. I could tell for I had seen it in ‘Nam’.

“Son, you away or new to this town. Let me tell you and you could be on your way.” The man gave me a yarn of a tale.

“We have been hit by bad streaks of luck. Calamities may be the correct term. The town has been hit by the locusts, and then the winds that swept our harvest of whatever that was left. The hospital was burdened by the sick and the dying. My wife died last month.”

“I would have left but I am got nowhere to go. My children do not want me. They say I was cranky and I am left here. I still got my flower beds and some chickens in the back. I could eat them. Flowers are a good diet too.”

“Why or what happened? I was born here. We were spared most of these calamities.” I raised my doubt. “Have you seen Johnson’s? Or John Buchannan?”

“Don’t mention those names ever to me. They are the cause of this all. That woman is the witch here.” The old man then shooed me off. I was left standing on the sidewalk with my money returned to me. I have no flowers anymore. I saw the dark clouds and the people rushing off the street. It was then a lady stepped up towards me.

“Sir, are you in the Army?” I looked at the elderly lady with the shawl over her head, and the curious look on her face. She was dressed in black and wore flat shoes.

“Marines, ma’am. How may I assist?”

“Sir, I got a busload at the side of the road. We don’t have a driver. He is unwell. Would you drive us please?” The lady made the request. “We are good folks.”

“I believe you are, Ma’am. Tell me where do you want to go?”

“The state line please.” I nodded and approached the bus. It was an old yellow school bus and it was loaded with some folks and children. I could drive that bus for I had my experiences with the farm trucks and what’s else. I got the gear up and was soon moving. I don’t know why I volunteer and the state line was five hours drive or seven hours given the engine I was adjusting to. When we took to the road, the elderly lady then made a new request.

“Son, could you turn at this junction? We have to pick up another passenger.”

I knew that junction. It was headed to Joni’s farm. I took the turn without asking. Soon I saw the familiar apple tree but without most of its branches. The house was still there; the white washed shades and the brown roofing. I saw the doorway to the basement was shuttered. I remember that the basement saved the family during the big winds. I drove up and got off the bus with the lady. We approached the house.

“Stay off my property.” The voice was from the house. I recognized it immediately. It was Joni.

“Sister, we came to take you with us. We have angered the demons. We must leave.” The lady replied. “Speak to her, Jimmy. She is with you.”

I was baffled. How did the lady know am I. I do not recognize her. Ten years could have changed some people’s look but she was a total stranger to me. I was then greeted by the sight of Joni.

There was Joni standing there. She looked the same except for a few changes. She had her hair bleached to the dark shades, and her facial makeup was thick primary shades that lit up her eyes and the redness of her lips. She was dressed in the dark cloak over the dark long dress.

“Jimmy?” Joni then glared at the elderly lady. “How could you?”

“Joni, I had to. We are at their mercy now. The cards say …. “

.

“The cards do not tell the entire truth. Only we ourselves can interpret the truth.” Joni waved the lady off but there was another event unfolding. The dark clouds that covered the town have reached the farm. The others on the bus stepped off and rushed towards the house.

“Stop!” The elderly lady halted the rush. “Set up the perimeter. We need fire.”

The group from the bus then moved on the instruction. The elderly lady looked back at Joni.

“You need to get inside. Take him with you.” Joni grabbed my right hand and led me into the house.  The inside was a total scene from the outside. It was like walking into a fortune teller or séance reading chamber with the macabre decors; the shelves of jars and parhelia like scented candles and ghoulish trinkets. There were sets of daggers and other ancient tools there. The lightings were dim and at best not exotic then.

“What happened here? Where’s your mother’s bone china? Your father’s antler fake headpiece?” I could not grasp the change. What happened to the farm girl I knew?

“Jimmy, I can explain but right now, I need to get you protected.” Joni led me to the round table. She pushed me onto the chair and then sat opposite me. She held out her hands and asked for mine. I was hesitant but my arms moved on their own. She then began some chanting in some language unheard of. I have seen such sessions in Nam by my nervous mates. They were concerned about their safety that they actually believed in the local culture of getting talisman and protective trinkets. Most of them were so much into it that they begin to think are invincible. I held my faith with my God. I held my sins confessed when the priests come along. I was not invincible but my body took on wounds that I have to search my soul to heal with. My prayers were replied and I made it home.

“No!” I pulled my hands off her’. “I can’t be …. I don’t want to believe this.”

“No, Jimmy. You are mistaken. We are …. You are vulnerable to the attacks. I need to protect you.”

“Protect me? No, I will protect you. I am …”

“You protect me, Jimmy? Please don’t mock me. You never did. You left me when I needed you most. You left me at fifteen.” Joni glared at me. It was still Joni beneath those makeups.

“I came back five years later. And you got married to John. What was I to do? Tell him to fuck off.”

“Five years with no letter or calls. Fine, we had no phone then but we have a mailman. Even the Sheriff will come over every Saturday. But not you. You were gone.”

“I …. I had to. I needed to think. I needed to find security to comfort you. I had none. The farm was gone. The house was gone. I had nothing.”

“You had me. You could have me as your wife but you left. I have a farm here which you could work on. We could have lived together.” Joni then looked outside. “They are here.”

I took a peek myself. The area around the house was surrounded by campfire sites. The apple tree was burning then. The folks from the bus were standing behind the fire with their backs towards the house. They were guarding it.

“What is …”

“Its John. He is taking vengeance on me.  On us. We are all witches.” Joni sighed. “It’s a long story.”

“It can be a long night,” I replied. Joni told me her story.

“When we were young if you recalled we used to play at the other side of the town. We called it the Harry Town for the horrors there. There were the other folks there. What you did not know, I was with him when we were not together. My mother used to take me there to see her sisters. Soon, after you left me, I spend most tines there. I met John there. He was a member of the congregation. We got close and soon marry me.”

I knew John was a nut case. He used to stay out at night and even slept in the mortuary once but in a smaller town, we grew up as pals.

“Soon after we got married, John was made the head of the congregation. He was good and our rituals became more intense.  John brought in new materials. He claimed it was from the ancient ones. He got them from the graves.”

“I was one of his followers. I was his …. Sacrificial lamb. He did things to me that I cannot explain. Soon after I lost our child, I lost my trust with him. I wanted out and he was against it. He cursed me and condemn me in his works. I had no choice. I fought against him. I shot him dead. Well, I thought he was but he returned. He had been plaguing me and the town for a year. I fought back with the sisters but he was winning. The town folks got wind that I was involved and banished me. The rest you know.”

“No, I don’t know. Why did I come back? I am no use to you or the town in this war. I am a Marine and ….”

“Fate, Jimmy. You are here not on my call alone but ours. You are destined to battle this together. Its our war that needed to be won.”

“Bitch!’ I cursed. “I am not a witch. You are.”

“Yes, I am the witch. You are my anchor to the Mother Earth. I can only fight John if you are with me. It's in the books. I read it. I thought John was the anchor. I was wrong. It’s you. And only you for I love you.”

“And I love you? This is blasphemy.” I snapped out. “I am not a witch.”

“Witchery has nothing to do with it. Our destiny is together. You came back not this once but the last few times. You just never got off the bus.” Joni was right. I did come back every return from tour but I never got off the bus. I felt I was not needed here.

The doorway to the house was blown wide by the huge force applied to it and then walked in the friend I once knew as John. He dressed in the dark frock and the long strips of red sashes were around his neck. He had on the bald look with the pale complexion. The rounded bluish tinted spectacles perched on the bridge of his nose was the trademark of his look.

“Oh, hello Jimmy. Pardon me if I did not meet you at the station. I was busy fucking my wife. You may still know her as Joni.” John voiced out. “She kept the poor company of friends. Please take a look if you could take the scene.”

I looked outside and saw the folks that were guarding the house were all floating on air with the serpents upright below them with their venoms spitting at the floating bodies. The venoms on contact at the body will leave a burning mark.

“They can’t scream for I removed their voice box. They are in silent pain unlike yours. I shall do my best to crack your soul till it can’t scream no more.” John glared at me and then he looked at Joni. “She will be fine. She will be at my side once more.”

“No more fighting, my lover. I am your Master since the day your purity was mine to take. Jimmy is just another victim of our love.” John smiled. “Or perhaps you want me to be him. I could take over his physical frame. I could then fuck you with his. It would be like the original. Except it's my seeds that will be in you.”

“John, I am …. I will join you if you proclaim me your Queen. I must bear that honor if you want me.” Joni looked at John. “Do you consent?”

“Queen? Surely if you are Queen, then I am King. I can accept that.” John laughed. “And he will be our jester.”Joni handed out her right hand to John. He took it but she told him to bow and kiss it.

“Make me Queen. Recite the vows.”

“Yes, my Queen. I shall …. No! I cannot…” John stood back but his body disobeyed his command. He found himself committing the vows asked by Joni. He did not see my left-hand holding Joni’s right hand. Our fingers were intertwined then.

“You conned me. You made me….”

“The minion to me while I am the Queen. In our realm of dark magic, there is no King but the Queen rules it. I could only be Queen if I am steadfastly anchored to Mother Earth. It was the ritual that only the true Queen would know. Like my mother before me. And her mother before her.”

“Joni, you can’t do this to me.” John pleaded with her. “We are lovers.”

“No, John. I was not your lover. I was your fuck mate. As you were mine. I needed a daughter like my mother needed one. You destroy my unborn daughter. I will never forgive you for that. So begone now to the deep end of the realm. Your punishment awaits you.”

John was then taken away by dark shadows screaming his mind at Joni but she was not looking at him. She was looking at me.

“Now you know the truth. I am a witch. However, there is another truth. That one was I love you. I still do but what you saw today, my first allegiance is to my people. I am their Queen. With my lover, I shall have a daughter and she will then be Queen. Beneath all of that is my love for you. No one or demons could deny me that and I can compel you to love me but I will not. Our love is not a plan of succession but of commitments in the soul. Begone, Jimmy. Return to me when you are …. Ready.”

I packed my clothes and I caught a plane
Had to see Joni, I had to explain
How my heart was filled with her memory
And ask my Joni if she'd marry me

I turned off the radio and took out the cassette tape. The tape looked worn out from the countless times I had it played. It had been another five years soon after I left Joni. The town was back to its own slow pace and the folks were still the farmers with the flower shop changed to an electronic music shop selling Walkman and loud music speakers. As for Joni, she was still at the same house I was told with some of her sisters in beliefs. John was never seen and assumed buried in the cornfields. It was the decent place to die peacefully.

As for myself, I became a pastor in the city to help the homeless and helpless. My cape was my frock and my weapon were the white-collar and book.  My drive was my faith and what I had seen in the town I grew up; I am into believing God gave us a purpose in life. Mine was to stay out of it. Joni does not need me. I should had listened to my instinct when I was twenty-two then. God’s lesson took time for me to understand. One of my parishioners gave me sound advice one morning.

“Father, it ain’t worth the one fuck.”

Joni and Me IV

Slowly I read her note once more
Then I went over to the house next door
Her teardrops fell like rain that day
When I told Joni what I had to say

I had those words etched into then piece of the tree bark from the town I had grown up. I had it framed and kept it on my bedroom dresser. It was life then I wished I had changed the outcome but it was not to be. I left at the age of twenty-two soon to be away. I did go back like a restless soul after five years but it was a shortstop. Since then I had not been back. It was all because of a lady I loved.

Joni.

The letter she wrote to me was behind the tree bark on the frame.

“Jimmy, we are here.” I heard my partner telling me then. We had driven over five hours to the town where our work was to begin. I am a Federal Officer of the Marshall Office. My responsibility was to provide witness protection. My partner, Gary Chao was with me for over two years. We had worked on several cases beforehand. He was shorter than me but he had the tough guy built up with the regular gym visits and a famed sharpshooter. For myself, I was the opposite; lanky build and the preference for the physical altercations. I was the country boy's true bred.

I looked at the Sheriff Office there. It was the same as it was twenty years ago. The building was a double level red-bricked structure with the double doors and the four windows facing the street. On the right side was the area to park the cars large enough for six cars and the left side facing the adjacent street. The only difference that day was the officers were wearing flak jackets and there was a shooter perched on the upper-level second window. It was most unusual for a small town of only two thousand inhabitants. We were met by the Sheriff at the doorsteps. He was new and unrecognized to me.

“Welcome to Little Cuba.” The sheriff quickly led us into the secured building. It was late afternoon when we arrived.

“I have the building secured. Not much we can do with the limited personnel which we have.” I looked at the Sheriff. When I was in the town, we had the crime statistics that will make us the baby otter compared to Godzilla. I recalled the police sirens were only heard on the weekends and I was one of the bad boys. Joni was of the pack. The recent event had raised it higher than any case in the state.

“Tell me of the witness. And why the heavy guns out there?” Gary took the lead.

“Okay. We did not send the folder yet. Our mail service is still in the dark ages.” The Sheriff gave me the peevish smile. “Those guns are to protect us. We got the witness in custody.”

The witness was a surprise.

Twenty years had passed but the basic looks remained then. The hair, the facial expression, the body frame, and the smile.

“My goodness. Is that you, Jimmy? It’s me, Joni.”

It was my Joni. Her voice was like a shot in the chest. I wanted to reach out for her but I had to be professional. We were taken into a room where we were brief. Our names were introduced and we got down to the serious part.

“Joni here is a witness to the human smuggling cartel.” The town was not far from the border and the farms needed workers. The extra workers are sent overland to the cities. Not all of them made it and maybe arrested before they are deported. Those are the lucky ones. The unlucky ones may be dead or ended up as slaves. That was the reason Joni was the key witness. She was married to the man who was the mastermind.

John Lindsey Buchannan.

John was my best friend. When we were then, he was the nasty boy. He will jump off the cliff into the pond below from thirty feet above, or steal into the candy store to get some sour candies. He was one who got me to buy alcohol when I turned twenty-one. Or appeared to be with the fake ID. I was not surprised he married Joni. I thought he was balling Madge but the later was also balling the other guys and girls. Madge was a lunatic. She was far-reaching in her words.  So I was myself but I ended up leaving. I ended up in the Army and then Marshall Office. I went clean in my books.

“Guys, you can’t leave. I got words that the Cartel has besieged the town. They are powerful, and I am with only a dozen officers. Most of them have families.

“I am from the Border Patrols. I have done my bit to keep the borders secured but we are porous in so many places, I gave up and retired here.” The Sheriff confessed to us. He was in his fifties and his build was of good farming food. “I have a family here too.”

“Jimmy, go to my house. We can be safer there. The town need not be hit by them.” Joni spoke up. “We can be …. alone. I know the back road. We won’t be seen.”

I knew it was a silly ….no, it was a stupid reason to be alone. I drove over to Joni’s house. Gary decided to stay at the office to call for reinforcement. The local officers did not volunteer to be with us. I declined the extra guns. I felt that John may talk to me.

The house looked very much like it was twenty years ago. The apple tree was still there; taller and held more branches. So were the bed of roses.

“We …. Well, myself. I come back to upkeep it. Most times, just to dust the place. Since you left, there was no love here anymore.” We were seated at the dining table having a farm-grown vegan dinner. The china table wares from her grandmother were what it was served on. The cupboard shelves held the old jam jars that her mother used to collect. So was the ugly deer head that her father tucked on the top of the shelves when he found out it was made from China. I had removed my jacket but kept on my shoulder holster with the Glock. Joni refused to hold any guns. She wanted to be the Joni I knew once before.

“I married John and we were happy. We were for some years being the young couple. Soon, he got a job at the Maison’s place.” I knew the Maison’s; migrant rich families from across the sea. They held a huge estate and many businesses. They were the untouchables.

“John worked for them in one of their businesses. He was doing the logistics. He arranged the inter-state trucks. Soon, John was promoted and we bought a house. We thought all was well but nothing happened. I was still without a child with John. It was then he drifted but we remained as a pair. Soon, I became involved. I was the Administrator. I was a planner. I arranged the routes and the migrants travel permits.”

“You were trafficking humans?” I was upset. “How could you do it?”

“Who the fuck is you to ask me? You left me when I needed you. I loved you then, and you just said I was too young. Heck! We had a life then.”

“We did not have a life then,” I shouted at her. I was upset that she was no more the Joni I knew. She had become a monster.

“We were close. We were sharing the bed.”

“Yes, we did. You were fifteen and it was not permissible.” I snapped back. “I was …”

“What? Being decent? Does decency mean getting into bed naked and fondling? How many times have you gone down on me? How many times have I done it for you? Did you not moan my name? Need I go on?”

“We were young then. You were fifteen.”

“And you were twenty-two. Does that make it okay for you?” Joni had rubbed the salt into the wound on my reply.  

“Bitch!” That profanity snapped from me. Then it occurred to me that there was something wrong about the place and Joni. I have been a Marshall for three years but in the Army, I was the Military Police involved in crime investigation. I had my share of investigating soldiers doing the crime; violent ones and the coverup with the ones they were shooting at. I investigate them and brought them home either in chains or in a box.

“John was not a smart one. He was the reckless one but you were the opposite. You were the schemer. I remember now. Your mother used to work for the Maison. Or was it the Hernandez? They changed their name in the nineteen twenties. My dad worked at the farms for them too after the Vietnam War. He was close to his last son. He knew their dirty secrets too. He died suspiciously but we could not pin it on anyone.”

“So was David Maison? He died soon after you left.” Joni looked at me.  “Did you kill him?”

I looked away. It was over twenty years ago. The military taught me many skills.

“Yes, I did. I cornered him out of town and killed him. It was quick.” I confessed. “I went back to the Army and was posted overseas. No one was to know.”

“Well, now I knew. I will tell you one other secret.” Joni looked at me. “I killed John. That was why they are coming for me. I sought the Police to tell them the set up. It was my bargaining tool with them.”

“Why John? I thought you loved him?” I looked at the lady whom I may not know anymore.

“I loathed him. I loved only you. I married him to spite you. I got him the job with the Maison to keep him out of the house. I went to work because I was having an affair with Mr. Maison himself. The old man wanted me there so he could get me when he needed it. I took it for I needed the security.” Mr. Maison, if I could recall, should be seventy-five or more, in the age then. He could not even fuck the barndoor if it was open wide.

“You are lying, Joni. You have been lying to me. You used to lie to me before. Remember the times, we get caught and you will talk us out to freedom.” I raised my voice.

“Okay, I was. I became the Planner. The old man and his family went into retirement.”

“You are lying.” I shouted out. I pushed the plate of vegetables off the table.

“No. I am not. I may have but loving you was not. I did love you. That was the truth. The one truth I have with me.” Joni sighed.

“Thank you. I love you too.” I replied. “Tell me why are we here once more? Why the men outside there? Are they to kill or protect you?”

“They are here to kill me. They don’t know I changed my mind on confessing. I have decided to stay with you. Like before.”

“Why me?”

“Jimmy, I love you. I want you to be with me. You are forgiven.” Joni smiled.

“How did you know how to find me?”

“You under-estimated the smaller town people. We can be influential. I had you checked out. I had everything planned. I have the witness protection people in my pocket. The rest was simple.” Joni smiled wider. “I am retiring and have decided you will come with me. Till death do us part.”

“Did you ask me beforehand?” I looked at Joni.

“Did you? You did not ask me if I will follow you then. I would have followed you to Hell if need be. If only you asked.” Joni replied. It was then the shots came through the door and the windows. The bone china wares were the first to break and the jars and the ugly deer head. I ducked beneath the table and saw Joni went down with blood on her chest. She fell down when I crawled over. I held her right hand and pulled her under the table. It would had saved her but I was shot then in the back. And at the back of my neck. I felt my right hand went lifeless but my mind was still working.

Jimmy please say you'll wait for me

I'll grow up someday you'll see
Savin' all my kisses just for you
Signed with love forever true

I could see us at the altar. We were exchanging vows. We were getting married. I smiled. It was all a dream. A long dream of dreams. It took me twenty years to realise we were not the only fools in the deceit of love. Only the lucky ones ended up ashes to ashes.

We had ours eventually.