Marja; My story

Marja; my story

Author's Note:

From the perspective of the blind daughter. The tale re-told from the blind daughter's mind

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I am afraid. Its not the dark I feared as all I see are darkness but the sounds of the guns and the bombs as Father described them. He tells me its safe in here and I believed him. I been in for over some time now, and I am used to the cramped position. At times I do want to go out like the kids I can hear playing outside my house but I hold back my curiosity as Father warned me; 'They may hurt you and I am not there in time to save you'.

Father knows best as he is mine. He has cared for me since Mother went missing. We have traveled far and met many hardships. There are times he tells me to be silent when asked and let him do the talking. There are times he tells me to tell lies of myself when its not what Mother taught me to do so. It was when I was five then. He told me we need to see some people and I must not tell them of my real name and where I came from. He told me some lies to say and leave the rest to him. I reply that I would not as its not true those that he asked me to speak off. It was then he raised his hand on me.

It hurts and yet I needed him.

I cried for his name and he was nowhere. There were guns and bombs around me then, and I ran as where my legs can take me. I called for him and he answers me not.

Why, Papa? I asked myself. I made a promise then to listen to his words. If I am to speak of lies, I would do as he said. Please do not leave me alone, Papa.

I can feel his arms around me and he carried me away from the sounds of those dreaded machines. Thank you, Papa. I hugged him close and ever tighter than before. My eyes cried not from the pain in my leg where something hot has grazed it but the feeling of ever losing my Papa again.

I heed all his words but I am ill today. I called for him and he has not come. It was then I remembered he is away as he told he would for this period of time. I was to stay in my space and await him. But I am in pain and I cannot bear it anymore. I pushed with all my might the thing that holds the opening, and I slowly crawled out. I need a drink and I think I know where the water bottle is kept. I got up and moved to where it could be. Aargh! My skin hurts. It burns like the last time when the skin got grazed. I shouted out in pain and I fell. I reached out with my hand for what that makes my skin hurt.

Aargh! It hurts again. I remember now the thing my father calls the stove. It burns he saids, to keep us warm on the cold nights. But it hurts me now with its hot surface.

The knocking on the door. Its not of my Papa, but its also comes with a sound of a lady. I heard her voice before when she comes over to see Papa. I would be in my space when she comes as Papa does not want her to see me. But I am in need of help. I made my way to the sound of the knocking. I feel for the latch and opened the door. The sunlight comes in and hurt my eyes but I opened the door for her. She came in as I can hear her feet shuffling on the floor.

"Are you hurt, my child?" She asked of me. I nodded my head and her palm was on my forehead. "You are with the fever. Close the door. Its not safe for them to see you."

I did as she asked and she led me to the stool which I sat when Papa is here. As I sat there, she walked around the room to look for something. I can hear her searching as the sounds of the items being moved from their places.

"Water?" I spoke softly with my weak voice.

"Water? Yes, I am looking for your water. Where did your father put it?" She is still searching.

"By the sink." She may had found it as I can hear the sound of the water being poured to the cup. Soon I feel the cup at my lips and I drank the elixir of life.

"Slow, my child. Your fever needs more than water. You stay here and drink the water. I will be back but you must not move. I will be back in a short while. Make no sound, girl." She was away. And I waited for her.

Was it long or short I do not know? But she came back soon, and she latched the door.

"Bah! These idiots do nothing but harm their own at times. What our youths has become now with a gun in their hands, they think they ruled the world." The lady did some more searching in the house for something. Soon she found what she needed and she took it to work. Then I felt her palm again on my forehead.

"Its still hot. Girl, have you no other clothes to change? This one is wet from your sleep and in need of wash." I point to my space and the lady must had gone there. She soon came out and told me to remove my dress. I shun at the thought as I was once asked by a man who I know not of. He asked the same of me, but Papa came in time to fight with him. Papa then took me home and comforted me. He told me no one is to do that to me as long as he is alive. I know then its a bad thing to do in front of a stranger. She is one and I am not doing it.

"No. I won't. You are not known to me. Why should I?"

"Girl, I am an old lady with a bent back. I am here to help you. If you do not change from your clothes, you could die. Do as I say and you may be fine soon." I can feel her hands on me but its with a warm cloth. She is wiping my brow and my eyes. "I mean you no harm." I trusted her. I did as she asked me and she wiped me like what Mother used to do. Soon she helped me with my other dress and I sat down by the stove again.

"Go and sleep now, girl. I will watch over your fire until you Papa comes back." I did as she told me. I met Rapunzel, my friendly rat when I lie down. She squirm away as usual but I am not in the mood to play with her. Soon I slept soundly with my dry dress on. I woke up on hearing the sounds of my Papa.

"Papa, are you back?"

Yes, he is as he moved the barrier to see me. I know he is there as I can smell his body odor. He is back from his duty at the barrier; he told me so. He asked me of my condition and then left me to do something. Soon he is back and passed me a metal bowl

"Drink this, Marja" I reached for the bowl and I tasted the brew. Its bitter and thick, but I would drink as Papa ask of me. I finished the drink and he asked me to sleep again. I nodded at his request, but I kissed him on the cheek before I went in.

I must had fallen asleep as when next I woke up, I can feel Papa next to me. He hold me with his arms to assured me of his presence. I can other voices outside but I kept quiet.

"Its empty. Okay set it here and move on."

"Yes,sir."

Set what? I asked myself but I dare not move as I may give away our hideout. I can feel Papa holding me closer and whispered in my ears.

"It will be fine. I am here."

"I know, Papa. Thank you." I replied in low whispers. I closed my eyes and soon I was asleep.

When next I woke up, I saw something that looks like my Mother. Yes, its her as I imagine her. She is back with us. I called out to Papa.

"Papa, I see Mummy. Can you see her?"

"Yes, Marja. I can see her. We are one family again. We are safe forever now."

Inside me, I said to myself.

"I know, Papa."