"Annie, is that you?" I heard Ma hollering the first time but I need to teach Jake some lessons in the game he called Cowboy and Indians.
"I'll swan ( swear ) on you that the next round we play, you be the Squaw and I be the Brave. Then I would get fixin' your hide to the pole. But not before I pulled your drawers down for all to see." I shouted back to Jake as he nursed his sorry butt for trying to get fresh with me.
"Sure'nuff ( sure enough ), my dear darling. At this rate you goin' on, I be darned the mules would come looking for you in the winter." Mother is always worried I won't get married by winter so she can be free of me by the turn of the year. By my true self, I should be telling her to 'end to your own knittin' ( mind your own biz ) but she is my Ma. So I snuff ( swallow ) down my pride and walk into the kitchen.
"Ma, Jake is a galoot ( old rascal ) and his playing gets me all hissy fit ( agitated )." I always tell on Jake but I know Ma would says he is ma' cousin and he is the one who is willing to play with me. But today she told me to something else.
"Annie, get your red riding cloak. You are going to see your Grandma in the forest. It has been sometime since you had supper with her." Now Grandma does not stay with us but she is all alone in the house in the forest. She is one crusty ( bad tempered ) lady so nobody stopped her when she decided to go there.
"But Ma, I thought only the Ingalls visit Grandma." Them was our neighbors for sometime before they moved off last summer. They are my Grandma's favorite relatives. She also promised to watch them on Cable TV.
"Yes, Annie. But the Ingalls have moved to the little house on the Prairie now. So its us who have to do it now. But this time I am busy so you go alone." Ma is not the one you have conniptions ( get upset and raise a ruckus ) so I just nod my head.
I took to the road wearing my red riding cloak except I have no mules or horse to ride on. I have are only my legs and my walking stick. It was not long in my walk, when I came upon a robbery by some 'polecats' ( rascals ) on a traveler. I holler out loud and came running swinging my stick. They taken to flight like the dogs was after them and left the poor traveler lying by the path. He turned out to be a fine tall, handsome and large frame ( did I cover all the attributes, I hope so ) gentleman in some fine silks. ( if I would to compare him to Jake it would a total mis-matched in physique like a mule to a stud. ) I stoop down to help the injured gentleman and pulled him to his feet. He brushed aside the dust and wipe at the blood on his lips. I loaned him my bandanna and he smell it before dabbling it to his lips.
"Such fine smell on you, my lady." I be darned if he thinks my sweat is fine smell. Now that is a man for me.
"Thank you, my lady. I say I owed you my life as if not for your timely arrival, I would be a carcass on this path." He did me a bow which I seen some of them do on the streets when meeting a finer lady. I tried to imitate a curtsy but I think I am more bowlegged than I thought.
"Stranger, you be fine as a fiddle soon. I best be on my way." I hate to do this but I cannot be standing anymore next to him as my legs are going wobbly. I choose instead to walked past him but he chose to followed by my side.
"May I ask of you name, my Lady. Its not everyday, I get saved by a Lady and a brave one too." As he was insistent and by golly, he is one good looking hombre, I told him my name; Annie Green. I am sure if Jake hear me speak my name now, he would had thought I have tonsils infection issue.
"Ms,.Green, my name is Adam Wolf. Its my pleasure to be acquainted with you." I laughed out loud but just as immediate I corrected my laugh to a giggle. Oh, this man is making me swoon to the music of love. He has such funny manners that I am really taken in. Unlike Jake back at the farm, all he knows is how to chastise the cows and goats.
"Why do you don a red riding cloak and not ride a horse or a mule?" Geez, how stupid can they get. This is the Red Riding Hood tale.
"The first is the latest dressing code for heroines in story tales. More to it, mine is made from the fine pelt of the young beaver. Its sewn by the masters and made to measure for me." Adam reached over and touched the cloak.
"Such exquisite feeling like I never felt before." He is walking wobbly now; probably the cane between his leg is making him do so. If he had touched my flesh, he would be tripping over by now with below him.
Control yourself, Annie Green. You are supposed to be Southern Belle being escorted by a hunk virile man now. So act like a lady and swing those parts that ought to be swaying. Thank my lucky stars, I am wearing this cloak as he seen me real walks, he would had thought he is re-living OK Corral with Wyatt Earp and Bat Matterson. I clammed in my knees and scrape them thighs to float on my heels. Now that is more becoming of a lady while he is a real gentleman as he holds me steady by the elbow. I promised myself if I survive this walk, I would ride those bulls and walk them by pulling at the nose.
Alas our walk had to end, as we came to the fork which would take me to my Grandma's.
"Mr.Wolf, this here path would take you to town, and mine would take me to my Grandma's home. So I hope to be seeing you again." I left him standing there as I strolled on my own with a heavy heart. I can never make out that man, as he keep on staring at me. Its in a manner quite eerie and then quite exciting as I can feel my heartbeats moving faster.
Unknown to me, Mr Wolf actually ran ahead of me by the inner forest and met my Grandma. This was what she told me of what happened then.
"Mr Wolf, you are sure you met my granddaughter Annie Green. You are sure the polecats did not take apart your head and you think you seen my Annie as what you described.." Grandma invited the young man to sit in for tea in her kitchen. After all, there is seldom anyone would come and visit her here. More rare is someone offering to marry Annie.
"I can assure you, Madam; I am truly smoothen by your granddaughter's charm and bravery. Rarely have I seen a lady who could do what she did. I begged of you to let me asked her hand in marriage." The man has fallen to his knees to asked for her consent.
"By golly, you are as crazy as her Grandpa. Okay, I would consent if she does love you. Now the best way to know that is for you to be me and then you can asked her the correct questions." My Grandma explained further that I would never lie to her.
Grandma offered the man her bedroom to hide in while she hid in the closet. She also told him if best he wears a nightgown and a cloth cap on the head. He changed into that and snuggled himself under the bed covers. But she told him to tied her up first and make sure its secured. He asked why should he do that.
"Well, if you are wrong about her and she finds out who you are, I do not want to be an accessory to murder. I can always plea I was tied in the closet."
It was then I arrived at the house.
"Grandma, its me; Annie. Where are you?" I heard her weak voice from the bedroom.
"I am here, my dear. I am having a cold." If she is sick, then I best attend to her on her last needs.
"If you are going to die soon, do you want me to read you your last rites?" I grabbed a stool to walked in and then I saw her sleeping under the cover.
"My goodness, you must be feeling cold. The cold must had straighten up your limbs as your toes are hanging outside the bed at the end." Its as I can see the hairy legs protruding out from the bed covers to outside the bed.
"Yes, my dear as I would like you to give me some straight answers." Okay, since its her dying wish, I might as well obliged. "Tell me do you have any man in your life?"
"Man? No, but I did meet a wolf and he is a cute one." Then I noticed the longer teeth on her mouth.
"Ah, a wolf its. Do you like Wolfs?"
"Not exactly, but this one is cute. He has got furs all over his body." The 'grandma' pulled her covers down to show me the chest.
"You mean like this?" I looked over and replied.
"By golly, the cold must be bad on your body to have you sprouting so much hair. Let me get the scissors and removed them all." But 'Grandma' stopped me short. She then asked of me more questions.
"Tell me more about the wolf." I told her all that I know.
"Do you love him?" I shook my head. The 'grandma' jumped out of the bed and cried asking me why.
"Well for one, he dressed in a dress and acts like an old dying lady. How much happiness do you think I would have with him as my love. He is withered while I am blooming, he may be wrinkled while I am still..... supple. Tell me how do you match an aging stud to a young virile mare." The 'grandma' of mine immediately stripped his gown and head cap to show he is all here.
"Look, its me. I am young and strong. I am all yours if you marry me."
"Hold on." I walked to the closet and released my real Grandma. "Can I borrow your pot? I need to make sure he can reach the bottom of the pot."
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