What I did last winter

This is a parody on Mork & Mindy ( 70's TV series ) / Potter / Western hero Bat Masterson and among others. I am just borrowing their names for this fun write.

Is it NC17 or SX18? How would I know? I was from Mars. We all had XX for YY in our school books.



Curtain rising.......

The city of Boulder located at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, had never seen the likes of what I did last summer. I just came back from the movie with Mindy; whoever though that what we did last summer mattered during the cold winter but it was screaming good. I was expressing myself then with glee that the neighboring couple vacated their place to another place. They were rude to had left the lady's panty there beneath the seat. I was to tell Mindy but she was too pre-occupied with the show. Nevertheless, I pocket the panty with me; littering was still a crime since the 1970's. Soon we were on our way back to the apartment; being sixty does not mean we could afford a landed property but we loved the one which we used to rent so I bought it. It took us a week to haul the coins we had to the bank ad finally got them to count the amount. In the process, we found a rare ancient gold sovereign that paid for us to own the whole block. We are now the landlord of the whole block; there was the Venusian lady in the third unit, told her many times, clothes are an essential cover during her stay here. The worse was the Plutonian; I had to assured him Pluto on the TV set was animated. Darned female still salivate at the image on the screen. I guess it can't be helped when Orson, my superior told everyone I was living at Block 51, off Colorado.

But nothing was to prepare us for the event that blew our summer off.

When I first met Mindy, I had crashed at this place and then took a hike with her. That evening, on the way back home, I had a hard time explaining to Mindy why I had another person's panty in my pocket.

"Mindy, I can assured you that at our age of 69, we are past the age to speculate on adultery or unfaithfulness. I was neither." I wished I had not mentioned 69 even though I was seated with my head on the passenger seat and looking at some leftover dust below the dashboard. She elbowed me hard on the level of utmost leverage that could justified profanity curses.

"Nu-nu" I called out but Mindy was not impressed.

"I thought it was meant to be Na-nooo" Mindy replied as she resumed her safety driving skills of having both hands on the wheel.

"Unfortunately, that would be when we copulate and I had to expressed myself in more satisfying manner but an elbow there caused great pain to my ego which translated to Nu-nu." I explained in my meek tone as the surge of the pain was still coursing through my nerves.

It was then Mindy applied the brake and I went leg first over the dashboard into the windscreen to land on my feet in an arc trajectory of a perfect 10 jump sequence. I stood there and viewed Mindy still in the SUV behind the wheel. Please remain belted in when the lady drives; they are too unreliable to announce their intention. I was to asked Mindy on her action, when I received a tap on my shoulder. I turned around, and there was a figure to rivaled that of Gandalf.

The figure who stood there was a tall man; very obvious with the side burns and goatee on the facial hairs, and long tresses of free flowing hair dressed in a dark gown over his tuxedo suit. I would laughed but he held a long broadsword in his hands to tapped my shoulder.

"I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, a wizard of Hogwarts. I seek your help to locate the impish elf who had eluded me this summer." The man from the 60's Hippie era was talking to me. "Or die by my sword of Gryffindor."

He was persuasive but I guessed over a cup of tea would be a good sustenance when in doubt during cold winters. He boarded the SUV but made me took the back seat. I did explained that the cold wind can be bitter but he was insistent. One never argue with a mad warlock and the crazed phenix who liked the cold winter. When we reached back to our place; it was a rather long drive, I had to carry the half frozen warlock into the apartment while Mindy turned on the house heating system.

"Do you mind turning down the temperature? I am sure Mr long name had defrosted." I asked of Mindy although she did once looked good with those bikini. I should asked Orson for the wonder gel to make the supple more succulent when he dropped over at Venue next.

"Pardon my rude behavior," I be darned the warlock does have the manners to be humble. "My name in short is Dumbledore, I am a teacher at the School of Arts."

"This is a real thing." He leveled up the sword up from his lap. I had an impression he liked it upright, but I was past speculating. Mindy was however amused as she leaned down to inspect the tip of the protruding blade.

"Its a fine one, my lady. Its was the property of ..." The living room despite the heater on full blast turned cold with the feeling of the creeping coldness of Hell turned into a Artic retreat. The shades on the windows clamped tight while the lights went flickering. She soon appeared; darned ladies had do that grand entrance.

There she was laid out in the color of the sun baked prairie harvested fields, with the streak of green leaves that left a trail from her left shoulder across to her right waist line before traversing along the hip bone to the inner thigh and from there a series of coiled green vines that strayed to the toes. Her hair was all yellow blonde; thank the stars Mindy was brunette, undoubtedly sure after we got married twenty five years ago. I loved ladies which kep their hair short cropped; I meant the top head piece. I believed it was bob cut style. Those eyes were more striking; golden arch for brows and striking gold orbs in the slot.

"Honey Granger, for the sake of your house. Please covered yourself up." Dumbledore turned his gaze away while his broadsword leveled down. "Have you no shamed in the house not of ....ours?"

Mindy was to the rescue with the Navajo blanket that we had kept near the fireplace for our cold toes on nights like these. With a blanket of only five feet in length, when used to encased a rumbling session sometimes best be rested to cover the unattended toes. The lady in yellow covered herself and glared at the tall warlock.

"You had me chased from over five continents and I thought the coldness would dampen your urges, and here you are again." The lady shrieked out at our earlier guest. "Don't you know the word 'refusal' means no. Or shall I have to speak in twenty five languages to make you understand?"

"I knew sixty five hundred languages and ...." I was lucky to standing up as that time Mindy elbow hit my ticklish liver nerve. I had to giggle while Mindy made amends with the warring guests.

"Tea anyone?" Mindy asked. "Earl Grey? Green Tea?"

Soon over tea and a restored heater set back to normal levels, the four of us had tea. Our last guest was the soon to be lady of Gryffindor named withheld on request. Warring parties liked to remain anonymous. She soon explained that she was; well defined here, with Dumbledore but the warlock was too insistent on having a child. He claimed it would rival some other kid with the mark on the forehead, but the lady felt that the time was not right to have one as yet.

 "I am just into my young adulthood and was not ready for long term commitments." That was a scary thought then as I was in a long term germ sharing commitment the last twenty five years of never ending love cruises.

"Oh, he loved the dark moments. It made his blood surged." The lady had the smirk on her face but I was sure it was ill intended. "But I was worried. I had this letter from the Guardians of the Owls. Darned birds sneaked into your place when you are asleep."

A letter soon appeared in her hand, held by the fingertips of the index and thumb of her right hand. It looked like an old letter; probably written in the days when pirates ruled the Caribbean seas.

"I had not much places to hide it." The lady looked sheepishly at Mindy. My love was more effective in perception while I was more perceptive of ...... Never mind. We would stick to the elements of the plot. Mindy ran off to fetched the disposable gloves from the bathroom. Eeks, we used that to wash the bidet, and where the foul smelling vuvuzela lookalike flowed.

The letter was written then by by some old witch who loved the pirates too much to had known that pirates only valued boobies.....I meant booty. It told of the coming of the dark one before the unspoken one emerged. That dark one was unthinkable, but I flopped in the meditation classes. I thought of the dark one then.

Guess what, we had a new guest. One too many on a cold winter night when we should be snorkeling beneath covers.

"Who called on my name?" The kitchen looked as if it was on fire and with the 911 on Christmas break, it was not a good day. If there was a way to describe evil personality, this one blew them all with its look.

The figure appeared with a side view of the posture; slender built, age unknown so lets said ancient there, head tilted with the top hat inclined but not toppling, the face have hidden would surface later but the ears was a giveaway; pointed ears with the lobes sprouted out. He; I would come to that, was dressed in a dusty tuxedo with leather boots, and carrying a doctor bag with the surgical tools partially seen. Hold on, he had raised up his face; it was pale and had a crooked nose bridge with deep sunken eyes.

"Doctor Doolite?" I asked meekly like the rabbit before the great physician.

"No, Mortician and Dentist. Masterson the name. I 'bat' you would not feel a pain when I pull your bones out." I loved the way evil men speaks. They are so macho. Dumbledore had shared my view; as he had placed on his spectacles then. Must had needed the extra visualization or was it 4D for effects.

Lady of the Gryffindor shrieked away in fright while Dumbledore was tearing at his clothes like the green skinned rampaging monster but I would had told the warlock; please get a pair of stretchable pants. At least his speedo beneath his suit was doing a fine stretch there. I ran to the closet but Mindy was more aggressive. She picked up the wooden spoon that we used for cooking and on..... Never mind.

Doctor, pardon me; Mortician and Dentist Masterson held up his bag to shield his face. He feared the spoon and soon whisked himself off with some foul smelling brimstones smell left in his trail. I walked up to Mindy and checked the spoon. It had a S etched on it. I did it to remember it was a spoon and not my old pal from the Osbid System. They are a bunch of wooden planks to bang ....... Never mind again.

With the evil Mortician and Dentist gone, my two guests decided to leave and have their bickering on the cliffs of Dover. Mindy being nicer wanted to their counselor but sanity prevailed; they decided the Sirens there would be a better set of advisers. We stood there watching them took off on the broom sticks with our Navajo Blanket. She did paid us in with some rare gold doubloon from Spanish gallery off Brazil coast. Mindy took a bite on it.

"Care to bite on it?" Who could refused when she placed it down south of the continent.

Sorry, Orson. That last event was the reason I was late. I would asked Dumbledore for his email when I see him again. You old foxes ought to sniff together next summer.

 

Cheers for now. Mork out. Na-nu na-noooo........