Friday, March 21, 2014

Male Tales Issue 1.011: Am I fat or obese?. ( Re-run and edited )

Male Tales

Issue 1.011: Am I fat or obese?.

Carole, a dear friend of mine, used to say “the waste adds to the waist”. 

She meant the children’ ‘waste’ as in leftover food, will be taken by the mother as she will not see it gets wasted. Bless her, for she is a MOTHER of FOUR, and she still has a trim body to match that of the 20 years old. 

So let’s talk of the waist that took the waste, such a chore which we all endure as parents. And as most married MAN will attest, the question does pop out in a different manner but it mean the same; ‘AM I FAT?’ by their bedmate ( I used singular, my dear... ).

Many a times, the truth hurts and aches for days when the headache comes during the nights. A lie or two cannot be shoulder by the poor mirror who only can tell you the truth, no matter which angle you looked to it. Maybe the Queen should be told, or maybe not, as our heads could roll. In current times, the house locks could be changed. 

So lets us understand a different view to the above, as I prefer the question as Am I fat or obese?

Yes, some of us are fat as one of the three nutrients used to create energy slowed down in the process of aging.... I meant real age ( we are all aged 21 when asked for our age. ). Somehow it’s accumulation distorted our body structure. 

Then we get that extra inch or two on. Unlike SEALS, we had little use of it, but its came from our needs to eat, unless I become a ‘fauna’ who consumed only greens. The this article will be then be Am I too thin or slim?.

Now obese is a different matter. 

A person is considered as OBESE if their weight is more than 20% of the ‘ideal weight’. That was medically proven. But we are not contesting any medical findings here, but a relationship issue. Pardon me, but I seen many ladies ( and man ) who grew from size to SIZE, from the process of situations caused by factors of time and environment. I also seen some who never expand the girth at all. Unlike myself, I have from ‘perky’ to ‘peaking over the belt lines’, although I swore I eat no more than the children’s portion. ( trust me, I could see way below...) 

Okay, I may admit I do run the miles like before, but mine was double in miles when having to pick up kids to and from school or other activities. Even on weekends, I am behind the wheel like any other day. By later afternoon, I was exhausted by all the driving ( quickie excluded. ).

Oops, I was out of focus. It’s was not me asking the issue; it was my bedmate.

I guess, I will tell her, ‘No, darling, you are not FAT nor OBESE,as you are within your 20% of the ‘ideal weight’ that we last recorded two years ago.’ That was medically supported too. ( sometimes, dishonesty pays better Wrong words to utter when you just told your lover she was obese; "I guess we won't be having that quickie..")

Now let me find my jogging shoes. I had just marginally crossed the 21% marker. I need to run that block to make it back to 19% to set the new benchmark for my next weigh-in. 

And get a new bed; this one is developing a steep slope towards my side.


P.S. For those of you are confused, I can send you the worried about being obese. Tell her, you are never “over weight” but getting to be more bouncy. 

For those who can't buy belts, try the velcro tapes. It worked for me, if I don’t laugh out.

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