Did I do Wrong?
Author's Note:
Mental Illness. That
says it all.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mental Illness
"Officer, I did no wrong. I was just taking a walk. Why are you questioning
me?.......... I did no wrong. Please let me go. Please don't do
this............... Its not right. I am just walking.........Help me,
someone.......please." My eyes open again. I am on my bed and I am alone.
No, I am not. I am with the doctor. His name is Doctor Kevin. He always sees me
on Wednesday. I remembered now. It's his clinic as I recognized that painting.
It's an ugly re-production of Van Gogh. I know he can't afford the real one,
but he should try to a better copy. He's rich with his successful practice but
he is a miser in the spending. I know as Lucy his wife is in my afternoon tea
group. She gossips on her husband to me. We laughed a lot at the antics he does
in his free time.
"Mrs. Wyatt, you are safe now. You are with me in the clinic. There are no
officers here now. You are safe now.' I see the good doctor sitting in his armchair
and holding his notepad. Bloody miser could afford at least a proper recorder
but he still used the old method. I sat up on the couch and looked at him. My right
hand reached for my hair to make sure it's not in a mess like when the officers
manhandled me. Bastards they are, the way they handle people off the street.
They should be disciplined for such action. The bitches are worse; they dragged
you by your hair and pulled you into the alley. Then they step on you with
their boots.
"Mrs. Wyatt, you had another relapse on your disorder. Did you remember
taking your medication?"
Medication? What medication? Oh! Those white and blue ones. I nodded back to
the Doctor. John always makes sure I take them without fail before he leaves
the house. He said it would make me feel better. I listened to him as I love
him. He is my husband and the best I can ever wish for. I nodded again to the
good doctor. Doctor Kevin is a lecture mate of John but John is a surgeon now.
Kevin is ....my therapist.
"Okay, Mrs.Wyatt..." I had to stop him. He is too formal.
"Doctor, called me Maggie, please. I know you too long to be on the formal
name-calling. Maggie would be fine." I smiled at the embarrassed doctor.
"Okay, Maggie. You were brought in by the Officers when they found you in
the park with misconduct behavior. You sure you took your medicine? Because my
test showed your drug level is very low. I doubt you took any this morning."
The doctor is looking at his chart and he is frowning.
Oh my God. I am in trouble again. I must have left the medicine under my tongue
and spat it out. It was we do then when they come for us. They made us take some
pills and we pretended to do so. We rolled it under our tongue and spilled it
out. That is our retribution to their violent ways. You can't drug us like before,
you pigs.
"Maggie, you have to take your medicine or your symptoms will show again
like today. You are lucky the officers remember you and brought you here. You
could end up in jail like before. You remembered when John came to bail you
out."
No, don't go back there. I cannot stand that one. It was horrible. The place
with the others; all filth and violent people. One even took my jacket as she
did not have one herself. One even tried to..... I have got to stop thinking of
that day. Please stop asking me to go back that day.
"Maggie, it's okay. We are safe now. You are safe now." He held out
his hand to me. I took it and held it tight. I can feel my hands trembling with
fright at the thought of what happened that day. It was like no other days; we
stood out there in the sun or rain for weeks to protest the violation of the
animals. We walked the square with our placards and sang our songs to motivate
ourselves. We did no violent acts when we were there. People passing us were not
harassed by us; some even gave us a shout or two of encouragement. I know we
stank of uncleaned bodies but we did our personal needs in the nearby public
toilets.
But they came; the officers with their truncheons and heavy boots. Men and
women alike with one intent; get our asses kicked. But what made it worse was
they brought the dogs. Our very own reason for standing here; to protect these
creatures from the vile training they been subjected to. The dogs showed no
mercy as it pounced on us and snarled their fangs. I had one of them, misguided
creatures, pushing me to the ground and held me down with its paws. Its face is
over mine and I can see those fangs. I remembered lying there praying that death
would be quick. A bite on my neck to sever the jugular and then the floating of
my soul.
But it was not to happen. I have their mistresses coming at me with the
truncheons and boots. They dragged me up and job the stick in my liver. I
pleaded then to be gentle as I was with a child. Our child. John's and mine.
But they pay no heed to my pleas. The rest is known. But the worse was not
mentioned before.
Our child was born with a defect of the mind. She sits in the institution as I
am. Mother and child. A secret that John and myself kept for years.
"Okay, Kevin. Your time is up. So are yours, Maggie. Come on. Your doctor
awaits you and it's time to be nice too. He would give you your medicine and swallow
it down. Any one of you who tries that trick of putting it under your tongue
gets a bad spank from me. You hear me well." That's Matron of the ward.
She is always threatening us but she has a kind soul inside her. We followed
her instruction and get in line with the rest of our medicine. Kevin walked in
front of me as usual while pulling at his robe. He always wants to be neat and
tidy like a real doctor, but he is an inmate like me. We are both inmates in
the Psychiatry Ward for over ten years now. We played the game of Doctor and
Patient daily as it's the only thing we know besides eating and sleeping. As I queued
in the line, I looked to the open yard, and past it in the mortuary. They
placed Anne there last year after she fell off the building thinking she is a
bird. I was there to coax her to fly as it's the only way to get out of here.
She did as her mother tells her. And she is free now. I would fly to one day
but today I would be a good girl and get my medicine.
"Here's yours, Maggie. John sent you a letter." I thanked the good
doctor. He passes me the envelope with a letter from my beloved John. He is serving
his sentence in the penitentiary for murder. He did that for me, as he could
not bear to see me suffer under the beatings. He took two of those pigs to the
slaughterhouse and they put him in the same pig's pen now in return. But we are
safe from the beatings. But not from the officers; here they are dressed as
interns. I know as I have seen them coming into my room at night., But that is
another story for another day.
No comments:
Post a Comment