Story Write Compilations Volume I Stories 53

 

Happy Valentine

 

Author's Note:

A satire piece on Valentine's Day euphoria.

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Picture this scene of three very elderly folks sitting in the public park watching life go past. Their names are Jimmy ( 83 years ), George ( 85 years ) Pete ( 79 years ), and Cherry Rose ( 91 years ). It's their usual routine most mornings to come here from their Aged Homes fifty yards away. It's a nice lovely morning that day, and the birds were there; I meant the ones that perched on the branches.

 

"Did you see that? It's Valentine's Day."

 

"Jimmy, if I did, would I need you to shout about it?"

 

"No, George, It reminds me of the time when I was with Luna. You remember her. The one with the tanned looks and wearing skimpy suits."

 

"Jimmy, if I do remember all your girlfriends, I would not be considered as senile by the Doctor. You have so many that I resorted to counting sheep instead for my nightly sleep. It's less stressful. Well, at least they have coats on them."

 

"For Pete's sake, stop moaning. You were always second best to me."

 

"Who called me? And I don't moan in my sleep. It just the bed complaining of me wetting it nightly."

 

"No one called you, Pete. You should do something about your bedwetting. It's disgusting."

 

"Jimmy, at least I can still squirt through there and not a have bag around my knees to flow it out."

 

"Hey, you guys stop it. I don't need you guys to tell me what's it like then. I got Woody Woodpecker re-run to remind me every morning of those glorious days."

 

"You have to excuse them horny boys, Rose. As I was saying, it's Valentine's Day and I was wondering if you would do me the honor..."

 

"Jimmy my lad. If I did the honor, do you think they would be calling me Cherry Rose behind my back? Of course, I would be delighted if we were seventy years before this day."

 

"Rose, my dear. How can you be unkind? I could sing my favorite to you. It's "Oh, Carol!" I changed the lyrics for you."

 

"By George, please don't do that. If you ever let Jimmy sing, prepared to hear a man scream from a torn ligament. That his style."

 

"Pete, shut up. Okay, I won't sing. Can I quote your poetry then? The poetry of love."

 

"Aha! The poetry he knows is the limericks. Here is one I remember of his. Let me do it.

'There was a young lady named Smith

Whose virtue was largely a myth?

She said "Try as I can,

I just can't find a man,

Who it's fun to be virtuous with.'

"George, how can you despoil my linguistic art with such saucy lines?"

 

"If I was young at twenty, I would not have the mind be Ms.Smith and get my virtue despoil by one like you. But at ninety, I saved it with my tag as Cherry Rose."

 

"Pardon me, Jimmy, but did you checked the date today? It 1Feb 5th... You slept through Valentine yesterday as we did not wake you up."

 

"George, how could you? I should have been awakened."

 

"Jimmy, you were moaning of some lady named Sally, so we reckon we let you sleep it over. After all, we did see you getting upright so we let you dream on to kingdom come."

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