Tawa Incident 1.2

Prelude to Zero

12 hours ago

I was standing in my windbreaker over my casual when I noticed my laces on my left shoe undone. I would had bent down but I felt an exposed haunch pose would attract private intrusion; not that I fancy one after an afternoon pour on the Anglo Saxon isle but I can’t walk with untied laces. As I was tying my laces, I did get a drench on my face, courtesy of a Japanese Model. Not exactly my choice of bukkake but it wet the front of my pants. I stood up hoping to let the moisture dripped its own course, when I realized I was looking at a set of legs. If I got my arithmetic right, she measured forty inch to the top of her hose.

"Mr.Blake, I presume." The sweet voice invaded my ears to vibrate the drums there to play the lullaby, "Humpty Dick'. I looked to the lady dressed in a three piece business suit complete with the scarf to cover her cleavage. The skirt barely covers the top of the hose but who's peeking. Her hair was rolled into a bun and pinned up by the hairpins with the round rimmed frame on her perky nose.

"Hehe?" I am sure it her although she was dressed like a stewardess.

"Yes, I am." She placed her dainty fingers to twitch her nose. I knew I should had changed my socks but who does in these rainy days. "Please follow me. I would lead you to the person in charge."

I followed her as we walked up the front door of this three floors North London shop; all plain with the coat of whitewash of dull colors. The sin on the side of the door reads as "UNIVERSE DELIVERIES". Their motto below was 'we deliver where others can't.'

She pressed the door bell and answered to the white box below the sign; "This is Cherry reporting".

Cherry? The last time I heard that was with a French lass somewhere between the two continent in the underground train tunnel. Her name was Cherie and she told me 'Mon Dieu, with you; I felt like it was first cherry liaison but this time more stars appearing in the skies.

The door opened by remote and we walked in. Its a long white tunnel of over twenty five paces. I want to touched the walls but she told me not to.

"Its vibration sensitive. You could trigger the alarm." I was tempted but we came to the other end of the corridor. There was a red phone booth there. You find many of them on the London streets. "We need to make a call. Please step in."

We managed to squeeze in and I find myself looking at the ads on the walls of the booth. 'Call me for a Milk run'; the picture of those udders would had made a pimp out of the Bull. Or the next one was more devastating; 'Dry Gin Deep Down.'. The picture was of a volcano close up with lava gushing out.

"Dial 007' My host spoke to the mouth piece and the phone booth vibrate before descending down seven levels. I knew then the number meant something; license to go under, I guess. We soon stepped out to what may be perceived as a normal office in downtown. There are the cubicles and people inside it with a false sense of security. If they only looked up to the ceiling, they would had seen the camera looking down at them. My host sweep me through the walkways to the designated office. When I said sweep, she had to sweep me ahead as I was trying to catch glimpse of what they do here. We are talking about an office in downtown London and you wondered if they played DOOM or WARCRAFT. No, they don't; their screen are all live vids of landscape of some foreign land.

"Is that the who's President wife?" She was sunbathing topless and this guy was glued to his keyboard keying in the weather. I am disappointed; when I retire, I would petition for his position.

Soon I was ushered into the designated room.

"Penny Worth, this is Blake. Jon Blake." I know all secretary looked alike; pardon me stereotypes would be more appropriate but this one was different. She was dressed like a previous Prime Minister I knew but she holds a Walther PKK in her shoulder holster.

"Treacher.... I mean Good morning, my name is Jon." I introduced myself. The secretary placed her index finger on my lips, and looked at my host.

"He can't go in there dressed like that. It would make our profession a mock to the others. Get him changed in that room." I was pushed into a changing room filled with matching dark blue suits and shoes.

"Match him on the Size Seven. It should fit. I doubt they made any of it on Bond Street. " I heard her and felt insulted. I shouted back Eight would be a perfect hit, although I am Seven half. They dressed me up in the blue suit with polished dark shoes, before they pushed me through the door marked M.

"Hello, Blake. My name is M or Madam to those who does not know me." I looked at M, and cringed. For one M was not only a lady but a monstrous built one with a size 12 for her shoes. Later she told that's only thing was the shoe  which she could buy at the shops. The rest are custom fitted to her frame; If Humpty had a sister; this one fits the 'egg' down to the 'yolk'.

"Blake, please allow me to introduce you to Private Secretary to the Prime Minister, Sir Arthur Malloy IV." I looked at the man dressed in tweeds as if he was in a country retreat. His short cropped hair looked like a greased out mop with the matching curled up mustache. He took off the unlit cigar from his lips with the short fingers, and shook my hand with the right hand.

"Nice to meet you, Blake. For the record, I have never heard or seen you." The man smiled as his eyes drew like paint brush from my head to my toes. I am sure he diverted at the waist to go around to reached the back of my thighs before emerging above the knees.

"Yes, Blake. We have never met you before. You don't exist in this office or outside." M looked to Hehe, and asked if I signed the green declaration.

"What declaration?" It was written all over my face and I was twirled around by Hehe. She grabbed my right hand and twisted my palm to open up my fingers. Then she my placed my thumbs on the inkpad and then pasted on the folder she was holding. I wanted to asked her what did I signed but I was twirled back to the two dignitaries.

"Good, you signed it." M's face beamed like the floodlights on Dodger Park and then looked at me. "Welcome to UNCLE, Blake. UNCLE stands for Undisclosed Near Calamity Leverage Equation. When such calamity happens, we placed them back into perspective."

"You mean that I am not in MI6. I been dud." Then I saw the expression on M's face. "But I am happy to be here. Do you offered pension too?"

"No, its a Ten Million Pounds payoff if you die." M' paused. "That would be after tax deductions and after I had removed all your expenses to cover the collateral damages. But now we need to get back to the mission. You would accept this mission, and if you ever caught or died in the process, we would not process your obituary here. As far we are concerned, you are incognito to us."

I nodded at her and smiled.

In the next hour, I was brief on the next calamity that would befall on the world. The mission sounds like the Moon Landing in 1969. I mean her voice; it drags on and on, and then makes a remarkable statement like "Blake, are you awake. This mission is essential to the nation. Its one small act for you, but to us its one major action for the nation"

"Uh-huh," I nodded. I am honest to said that I did fell asleep during the briefing. Who wouldn't if you are looking at M talking. Regardless of my condition. she drawled on like a broken record.

"We have information that someone would block the Sun in 60 hours. Your mission is to figured out who is doing that, stop it and destroy the satellites." M looked down at me. "We know from Intel that they have modified 24 existing satellites up there but they need another 24 more. So your mission is to get that project canceled."

"And if I failed?" I had to asked.

"We don't accept failures; we just retard the failures for their own good. A simple lobotomy of the brain was what we normally do." M did sounded serious on it. Then she smiled again.

"Your call sign is Tawa 2012. We ran out of double zero prefix, and we lost the last database. So we just give you a new one, Tawa 2012. Good luck then."

Soon I was cleared for the mission and needed to undergo security protocols. Penny Worth got me to sign a stack of disclaimer and non-disclosure plus the reading of the will to donate all my belongings to her.

"Jon darling, for whatever it was worth, I can assure you I make every penny count." I trust she would. Next I was sent off to see the Technical Section. This was managed by Z, with a capital note. Z was the man you see if you want to come back alive. His contribution was named as operative life saver when he equipped everyone with the needed gadgets.

Z as he was named; never did disclose his true identity, looked like a man I seen before; afro gray hair style and thick eye brows but this one a real genius. He speaks very softly and likes to licked at his upper lips with his tongue. Today he was wearing an apron over his white coat while wielding a chopper. There was a rifle with a long telescopic barrel on the table.    

"Two Zero Twelve, nice to know you. Hope you would come back again. We get rather depressed when guys like you don't make it back. We hate to received our gadgets back by courier just because you guys did not use it properly." Z chopped the long telescope barrel with the chopper. The chopper broke into two on contact with the barrel. "Good, good."

"Heinrich, sent this telescope to Hong Kong. It would do to stop any Triads who wants to chop up the survelliance agent there." Z passed on the unit to his counterpart, and walked with me.

"Marge, how is the new bra coming along?" Z asked a lady colleague of it. She nodded to him and unzipped her shirt. Inside she was wearing a standard full cup but this one comes with a difference. She pulled back the cups and reveal a set of guns. The shots from the bra-gun took down the mannequin bottom half to shreds.

Z gave her the thumbs up.

"2012, for you I got a special." He held up the G-String for me. It fits into this ring and when you need it, just pop it out. Its made from the finest Kelvar and should stop any bullets." I already felt assured. Then Z passed me a small pouch.

"Use this in an emergency." I looked in and saw three seedlings in a small box. "It named as beans."

I never knew now beans can be used in emergency. Z read my thoughts and continued on.

"Instruction at the back of the box." My regret was not reading it then.