MALE TALES Issue 1.084

Issue 1.084: Drivers &%#$@@@@....

For those of us who ply the routes to and from our homes, in a metal encased box, called a car, we see these other counterparts of ours in their thearitics and irrational acts. And by gosh, how did they ever get behind those wheels in the first place.

No, I am not talking about the beautiful leggy lady in red, driving a Red CARRERA; nor am I referring to the one who drive the VIOS and pout her lips as she said, ‘whatever you want....’.

I am talking about these examples below....

1.     You come to a T-junction, see’s a car coming down the straight in a rather higher than normal speed, you paused to let the MAN go thru, and guess what on reaching your corner, he turns in without a flipping signal indicator. If that was so earlier indicated, you would not had waited, as you go %$##$$&.

2.     You been searching for a carpark, and you see on empty lot ahead. You released the brakes and push the acceleraor, and geuess, what, the other driver defies all traffic rules ( ie. going against the flow of traffic ) came with the madness of a ‘Fast % Fury’ attitude, jammed in the slot and walked off before you can say hey, ars@$%$$.

3.     Or made worse, they parked the car diagional in a vertical slot. I wonder if they do just that in the room. Or asked them to be Train Master and do the choo choo with the long handle.

4.     You coming out of a T-junction after having ‘stopped, looked and left’ in a speed of moderate levels ( note the past tense here. ) and in came this speed-ish fiend doing twice the allocated speed and he swerve missed you, and guess what, he stops to give you a lecture on how to drive out of the junction. It was moments like this I wished I had a crowbar which I ‘croaked’ his speech off.

5.     You are on the freeway, and the limited speed is way above normal limits, you are speeding and then you find two of these ‘drivers’ side by side, chatting with the windows down....probably comparing one is telling the other on how to drive a long straight... and the worse thing is the speed they are doing a shameful drag to the reputation of the car. Seen that twice on the highway...... I wished I had my iron shaft then...

6.     You rushed out of the office to attend a meeting, and some idiot decided that your rear end is good to be slotted as a parking slot. I would be glad to tell the driver my rear end is for reverse and no entry please. Made worse by the number they gave you is on the messenger machine. That was when I wished I had those old ‘extra long’ bumpers of the Nissan Sunny 130Y of the 80’s.

7.     You see the traffic lights changing to yellow, and you stopped on red. But the driver at the back horn you for driving too slow or not beating the yellow light. Gee, I wonder if there is a way I can changed my TransAm into a Yellow Transformer, and take his car with the driver inside and shredd it to components.

8.     You see one of them on the road, you honked and guess what; its your brother in law who was in in the car. Guess your wife was not to be categorised as the only bad driver in the family; it runs in the family traits.

Okay, I had bad round on the roads, so I thought I shed my frustration here.

I will get the roses for her, after all it cost less than the bumper I had dented.