Male Tales 1.087; Father and Son

Issue 1.087: Father and Son

I admit I am closer to my daughter than my own son, and considering I have only two kids, I am biased by any standards. But the truth is I do try to communicate with my son, like in ‘uh-huh’ and ‘um....’and the occassional ‘I dinna think so’. But his reply is about the same plus the sound of silence. Kinda remind me of the song by Cat Steven ( Father and Son )

How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
It's always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.

Son, let me tell you a short tale.

I was like you actually, with a father who did not had the time to talk to me, as he is busy with his work ( as I am too at most times; self induced pleasure I guess ), glad to be working instead of listening at the kids.

What I am trying to say, is that at the work place all the fathers and mothers inclusive are all ears to the calls and discussions, and thinking that when we come back we just wanna have peace in the mind and ears too. And then we have the same monotony of discussion.

But the difference here is you are our kids so we can say ‘hush’ or ‘shhhh’..

But inside all of us, we do want to listen to you. In fact we are concerned on your health, thoughts and also movements. But we need the little time to ‘spaced out the sounds’ before we can talk. And of course the priority to be placed for your mum and your elder sister(s) and maybe your grandparents before you reach us. Its like in workplace, your position is on the lowest echelon of the ‘talk’ status.

Or like listening to the phone that says, ‘ the number you are contacting is busy, please leave...’

Most often we do try to speak or communicate with you and I know its only a four minute time frame and meanwhile we are probably busy with the tabulation of the bills and the bank balances. But that it the reality of life for most fathers. We went throught it before so you are just experiencing it like the next para of lyrics said.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.

But I promised you this.

I will try to break the generations of handed down scripts, and be a more responsive father. I shall allocate an hour of my time to speak to you. You may bring up any subjects not considered taboo or degrading or cannot be understood in my ears, and we will discussed. So tell me when we can do it daily.

( Dad, this is my reply to your song’s lyrics ).

Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

Its sad if that happens.

So I told myself I will make sure I speak to my son once a day whether he is ready or not, then he be not there when I am ready. Even though it may end with ‘uh-huh’ and ‘um...’ but that is still communication.

‘Hello? Hello/ You there...... Hello????’

Guess I will leave the message for now.