Tony and Cleop Act Two Scene Five Sub-Scene Two

 

Act Two

Scene Five

Sub-Scene Two

The wrath of the Queen

 

The messenger was someone new. He looked young, but the hours of traveling had taken their toll on him.

“Queen Cleop. I am...”

“Do I care? Is Antony dead? If you tell me that, scoundrel, you kill me. But if you tell me that he is well and has not been captured... That will be a good report. If you report that about him, then I will give you gold. And Charmian. She is bored and diddles too much.”

"Here, you may kiss my blue-blooded hand. The Queen handed out her right hand. “A hand that kings have kissed and trembled while they kissed it. My left hand, I have shot with it at my enemies, though. I am a bloody good shooter.”

Cleop was left-handed and held her aim well with the left hand.

“My Queen, he is well.”

“Why, there is more gold. Bring him the tray of gold. He deserves it now.” The Queen laughed. “But, dear sir, pay attention; we do use the word "well" to describe the dead. He is bloody well dead, or dead to the core, and or... the crocodiles say ate well. If that is what you mean, a nasty creature. They dragged you to the muds and have you over supper.”

“I was adding some humour to your tiredness. However, I may melt the gold I have given you and pour it down that throat of yours if you tell me terrible news.”

“God, please hear me out first.”

“Well, fine, if God says so, I will. But there is no goodness in your face. ... if Antony is free and well, it is odd that he would send such a sour face to bring such good news! But if he is not well, you should have appeared like a Medusa with a crown of snakes, not so calm and well-dressed. You are not without balls in the pants, as I hoped. Neither do you have breasts. So, you cannot be Medusa.”

“Will you please listen to me?” The messenger pleaded.

“I have half a mind to strike you before you speak. How dare you ask me to listen to you? I am the Queen. But if you tell me that Antony lives, that he is well, that he is friends with Caesar, or that he is not Caesar's prisoner, then I will shower you with gold and greet you with rich pearls. And would not strike you. I am offering you options.” 

“Queen, he is well.”

“Well said.” The Queen smiled.

“And friends with Caesar.”

“You are a good man.” The Queen praised him.

“Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.” The messenger presented another set of words for the Queen.

“I will give you a fortune. And Charmian and... Alexas. Be careful; she bites.”

“But yet, Queen...”

“You are standing at the edge now. Either you get the fuck you want or you get fucked. I do not like the sound of "but yet." It casts a shadow on the previous good news. Down with "but yet."

"But yet" are the words you will use to introduce some terrible news. Either you are a virgin or not. No, the butt is not yet.” The Queen was at the end of her patience.

“Please, friend, tell me all your news at once, both the good and the bad. He is friends with Caesar; he is well, you say, and you say that he is free.”

“Free? I did……. He …… Mark Antony is betrothed to Octavia, Caesar’s half-sister.”

“For what? A bartering of loyalty or what?”

For the best turn, in... they shared a bed.”

“I am pale, Charmian.” The Queen, who was standing then, had to hold up the maid. She was moved to a nearby chair.

“Mark Antony married Octavia.” The messenger said.

“May the most infectious plague come upon you!” The Queen screamed. “Have that serpent struck down!”

Mardian took the cue to assault the messenger. He gave the other some punches and kicks.

“Queen, I plead that you give me a chance. I am merely the messenger.”

“What did you say?” The Queen shrieked out. “Strikes him!”

Mardian continued the assault.

“Get out of here, horrible villain, or I will kick your eyes in front of me like balls! I will tear all the hair from your head! And your balls too.”

Mardian drags the messenger to the barge side.

“Do not feed him yet. Whip him with the wires and brine on his wounds like a pickle, prolonging his pain!”

“Gracious Queen, I brought the news, but I did not arrange the marriage.” The messenger pleaded.

“Say that it is not so, and I will give you territory and build up your fortunes. The blow that I gave you will make up for you making me angry, and I will enrich you with whatever other gift your lowly self can ask for. Who married him?”

“He married Octavia on his own will, Queen. It is all I know.” The messenger pulled himself up. “I will run. I have done nothing wrong.”

The messenger turned to leave, but Mardian stopped him.

“Let the cur go.” The Queen commands the others.

“My Queen, pull yourself together. That man is innocent.” Charmian told the Queen.

“You have spoken once too often today. I am still in the mood to kill you, but I will not. Others who are daring may not escape punishment. Let Egypt melt into the Nile, and let all sweet creatures turn into serpents. Call that lowborn messenger again. Even though I am angry, I will not hurt him. Call the messenger back.”

“He is afraid to come. He cowers in fear below.” Charmian told the Queen.

“Get him here. I will not hurt him. It would be below me to strike someone of lower rank than myself, since I am the cause of my anger. I am angry at Mark Antony, Octavius Caesar, and Octavia. They caused me hurt because I cared about Antony so much.”

Mardian brought the messenger to the deck.

“Come here, sir. In all honesty, it is never good to bring bad news. Send many people to bring good news, and nothing will hurt them, but send one-person bad news, and that person will suffer the wrath of ten others.” The Queen looked at the bruised messenger. 

“I was merely doing my duty.” The messenger sighed.

“Is he married? I cannot hate you worse than I already do if you say "yes" again.” The Queen asked.

“Mark Antony is married, Queen.” The messenger cringed at the fear of being assaulted. 

“May God destroy you! Do you still stand by that statement?” The Queen asked.

“Should I lie, Queen?”

“Oh, I wish you were lying; even if you meant half of Egypt had to be submerged in water and turned into a pool for scaly snakes! Go, get out of here. But wait... Even if you were as handsome as the hunchback of Notre Dame, you would seem entirely ugly to me.”

“He is married? The bastard married.” The Queen was still upset.

“Please do not take offense, since I do not wish to offend you.” The messenger pleaded with shifting eyes at Mardian. He feared another beating. “It may seem... unfair to punish me for doing what I was to say. Mark Antony is married to Octavia.”

“Oh, what a pity that his fault should turn you into a scoundrel, since you are not a bad man even though you bring bad news! Get going. The merchandise you brought with you from Rome is painful to take. Leave us.”

“Wait, messenger. You have taken a beating called upon by me. I will not allow you to beat me, though. However, you can take Charmian for the night. She will serve you well, but I returned her to me without any damages.”

“My Queen, please have patience.” Charmian looked at the Queen.

“Go with him before I change my mind.” The Queen looked at Charmian. “Your disobedience today is tolerated by me.”

Charmian was led away by the messenger, escorted by Mardian. The Queen then turned to look at the others. She saw Alexas there. Iras was missing from the deck.

“Whenever I praised Antony, I also insulted Caesar.” The Queen sighed. “And Octavia.”

“I am punished for it now. Lead me away from it all. I faint. Oh, Iras, Charmian! Anyone ……. It does not matter. Go to the messenger, faithful Alexas. Tell him to describe Octavia's features: her age, her temperament. Do not let him leave out any detail, not even the colour of her hair. Report back to me quickly.”

Alexas took her leave.

“Mark Antony, I will forget you forever... But I cannot. He seems like a monster; in other ways, he is a god. I am hurt. Lead me to my chamber.”