432 and still counting
Author's Note:
This is a saucy
piece as requested by the contest rules.
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I walked into the
place and drew the stares of almost everyone I walked past. Who would not be
with my tweeds dressing, bow tie, and round-rimmed glasses? I am sure if you have
seen me, you would had thought I should be in the lecture hall instead of here.
I needed a drink and this place looks good enough for me.
"Hey, son. You
sure you are not looking for the bowl. It's the door at the rear and it's
marked PRICK." Loathsome of these punks who think their spiked hair is
like the length of their phallus which I can tell you is cropped short off the
tip. I made my way to the bar and asked for a double scotch. The bartender
passed me my glass and I dropped the fifty note.
"Give me one
more and keep the change. I have no smaller notes." That drew some awkward
stares from the ones who were sitting there with me. I gulped down the first
and motioned for my second. It was then the redhead came up to me.
"Hi, care to
buy me a drink?" I kept my face to the lineup of bottles there. I can see
from the corner of my eyes, she is inching up to me. Her boobs just caressed my
elbow and her left hand just slipped down to my right thigh.
"Uh-huh.
What...do you want?" She is moving and she is getting closer. I moved my
legs closed so that it's not too apparent.
"A
screwdriver would be fine. But I found my hammerhead is more refreshing."
She is on the runway and I had to get up.
"Pardon me,
Miss. My name is Patrick. My mum used to call me Pat. How are you?"
Redhead looked at me and smiled.
"First time
here, huh? My name's Rose and I am all red up there and down there. So your
mama let you come to town to paint it red." I nodded and gave her my
nervous smile.
"Yup, she
died last month and left me the business. I don't know why they keep those
numbers so big but the Accountant said it's huge." I am looking at her huge
boobs. I can feel the scotch running down the side of my lips. But she is onto
me by then. She leaned over and whispered to me.
"I can show
you more if you would follow me to my place. I like to hear more about your big
numbers." She is creeping on me.
"No, mama
says never to tell strangers on my inheritance. She said they may rob me of it.
And she also tells me never to go to a stranger's place. It can be
dangerous." But she had me by her arms and leading me out. In the next two
hours, I did a lot of things mother said I should not do like tell my bank
account figures, my name, and why I am still a virgin at thirty. But I learned
more about my economics on the distribution of flesh..... I mean wealth and
landscaping plus some deep bungee jumps.
"Oh, Mary.
Can I take fifty from your purse? I don't have small change. I need to take a
cab back to where my driver left me............... Yes, I will call you
tomorrow on our next date................... And I do love you.............. No,
I am sure you will be pregnant by next fall if we go on at this rate.........................
Of course, I shared my millions with you. Did I not just deposited some to you
just now...................... Love you too. Bye."
An hour later back
at my pad, I took a shower and took my diary. I jotted down her name and
statistics. She is number 432. I looked at the fifty on my dresser.
Whoever said you
need to pay for a fuck and a drink must be nuts.
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