Is it NC17 or SX18? How would I know? I was from Mars. We all had XX for YY in our school books.
Curtain rising.......
The city of
Boulder located at the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, had never seen the
likes of what I did last summer. I just came back from the movie with Mindy;
whoever though that what we did last summer mattered during the cold winter but
it was screaming good. I was expressing myself then with glee that the
neighboring couple vacated their place to another place. They were rude to had
left the lady's panty there beneath the seat. I was to tell Mindy but she was
too pre-occupied with the show. Nevertheless, I pocket the panty with me;
littering was still a crime since the 1970's. Soon we were on our way back to
the apartment; being sixty does not mean we could afford a landed property but
we loved the one which we used to rent so I bought it. It took us a week to
haul the coins we had to the bank ad finally got them to count the amount. In
the process, we found a rare ancient gold sovereign that paid for us to own the
whole block. We are now the landlord of the whole block; there was the Venusian
lady in the third unit, told her many times, clothes are an essential cover
during her stay here. The worse was the Plutonian; I had to assured him Pluto
on the TV set was animated. Darned female still salivate at the image on the
screen. I guess it can't be helped when Orson, my superior told everyone I was
living at Block 51, off Colorado.
But nothing was to
prepare us for the event that blew our summer off.
When I first met
Mindy, I had crashed at this place and then took a hike with her. That evening,
on the way back home, I had a hard time explaining to Mindy why I had another
person's panty in my pocket.
"Mindy, I can
assured you that at our age of 69, we are past the age to speculate on adultery
or unfaithfulness. I was neither." I wished I had not mentioned 69 even
though I was seated with my head on the passenger seat and looking at some
leftover dust below the dashboard. She elbowed me hard on the level of utmost
leverage that could justified profanity curses.
"Nu-nu"
I called out but Mindy was not impressed.
"I thought it
was meant to be Na-nooo" Mindy replied as she resumed her safety driving
skills of having both hands on the wheel.
"Unfortunately,
that would be when we copulate and I had to expressed myself in more satisfying
manner but an elbow there caused great pain to my ego which translated to
Nu-nu." I explained in my meek tone as the surge of the pain was still coursing
through my nerves.
It was then Mindy
applied the brake and I went leg first over the dashboard into the windscreen
to land on my feet in an arc trajectory of a perfect 10 jump sequence. I stood
there and viewed Mindy still in the SUV behind the wheel. Please remain belted
in when the lady drives; they are too unreliable to announce their intention. I
was to asked Mindy on her action, when I received a tap on my shoulder. I
turned around, and there was a figure to rivaled that of Gandalf.
The figure who
stood there was a tall man; very obvious with the side burns and goatee on the
facial hairs, and long tresses of free flowing hair dressed in a dark gown over
his tuxedo suit. I would laughed but he held a long broadsword in his hands to
tapped my shoulder.
"I am Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, a wizard of Hogwarts. I seek your help to
locate the impish elf who had eluded me this summer." The man from the
60's Hippie era was talking to me. "Or die by my sword of Gryffindor."
He was persuasive
but I guessed over a cup of tea would be a good sustenance when in doubt during
cold winters. He boarded the SUV but made me took the back seat. I did
explained that the cold wind can be bitter but he was insistent. One never
argue with a mad warlock and the crazed phenix who liked the cold winter. When
we reached back to our place; it was a rather long drive, I had to carry the
half frozen warlock into the apartment while Mindy turned on the house heating
system.
"Do you mind
turning down the temperature? I am sure Mr long name had defrosted." I
asked of Mindy although she did once looked good with those bikini. I should
asked Orson for the wonder gel to make the supple more succulent when he
dropped over at Venue next.
"Pardon my
rude behavior," I be darned the warlock does have the manners to be
humble. "My name in short is Dumbledore, I am a teacher at the School of
Arts."
"This is a
real thing." He leveled up the sword up from his lap. I had an impression
he liked it upright, but I was past speculating. Mindy was however amused as
she leaned down to inspect the tip of the protruding blade.
"Its a fine
one, my lady. Its was the property of ..." The living room despite the
heater on full blast turned cold with the feeling of the creeping coldness of
Hell turned into a Artic retreat. The shades on the windows clamped tight while
the lights went flickering. She soon appeared; darned ladies had do that grand
entrance.
There she was laid
out in the color of the sun baked prairie harvested fields, with the streak of
green leaves that left a trail from her left shoulder across to her right waist
line before traversing along the hip bone to the inner thigh and from there a
series of coiled green vines that strayed to the toes. Her hair was all yellow
blonde; thank the stars Mindy was brunette, undoubtedly sure after we got
married twenty five years ago. I loved ladies which kep their hair short
cropped; I meant the top head piece. I believed it was bob cut style. Those
eyes were more striking; golden arch for brows and striking gold orbs in the
slot.
"Honey
Granger, for the sake of your house. Please covered yourself up."
Dumbledore turned his gaze away while his broadsword leveled down. "Have
you no shamed in the house not of ....ours?"
Mindy was to the
rescue with the Navajo blanket that we had kept near the fireplace for our cold
toes on nights like these. With a blanket of only five feet in length, when
used to encased a rumbling session sometimes best be rested to cover the
unattended toes. The lady in yellow covered herself and glared at the tall
warlock.
"You had me
chased from over five continents and I thought the coldness would dampen your
urges, and here you are again." The lady shrieked out at our earlier
guest. "Don't you know the word 'refusal' means no. Or shall I have to
speak in twenty five languages to make you understand?"
"I knew sixty
five hundred languages and ...." I was lucky to standing up as that time
Mindy elbow hit my ticklish liver nerve. I had to giggle while Mindy made
amends with the warring guests.
"Tea
anyone?" Mindy asked. "Earl Grey? Green Tea?"
Soon over tea and
a restored heater set back to normal levels, the four of us had tea. Our last
guest was the soon to be lady of Gryffindor named withheld on request. Warring
parties liked to remain anonymous. She soon explained that she was; well
defined here, with Dumbledore but the warlock was too insistent on having a
child. He claimed it would rival some other kid with the mark on the forehead,
but the lady felt that the time was not right to have one as yet.
"Oh, he loved the dark moments. It made his blood surged." The lady had the smirk on her face but I was sure it was ill intended. "But I was worried. I had this letter from the Guardians of the Owls. Darned birds sneaked into your place when you are asleep."
A letter soon
appeared in her hand, held by the fingertips of the index and thumb of her
right hand. It looked like an old letter; probably written in the days when
pirates ruled the Caribbean seas.
"I had not
much places to hide it." The lady looked sheepishly at Mindy. My love was
more effective in perception while I was more perceptive of ...... Never mind.
We would stick to the elements of the plot. Mindy ran off to fetched the
disposable gloves from the bathroom. Eeks, we used that to wash the bidet, and
where the foul smelling vuvuzela lookalike flowed.
The letter was
written then by by some old witch who loved the pirates too much to had known
that pirates only valued boobies.....I meant booty. It told of the coming of
the dark one before the unspoken one emerged. That dark one was unthinkable,
but I flopped in the meditation classes. I thought of the dark one then.
Guess what, we had
a new guest. One too many on a cold winter night when we should be snorkeling
beneath covers.
"Who called
on my name?" The kitchen looked as if it was on fire and with the 911 on
Christmas break, it was not a good day. If there was a way to describe evil
personality, this one blew them all with its look.
The figure
appeared with a side view of the posture; slender built, age unknown so lets
said ancient there, head tilted with the top hat inclined but not toppling, the
face have hidden would surface later but the ears was a giveaway; pointed ears
with the lobes sprouted out. He; I would come to that, was dressed in a dusty
tuxedo with leather boots, and carrying a doctor bag with the surgical tools
partially seen. Hold on, he had raised up his face; it was pale and had a
crooked nose bridge with deep sunken eyes.
"Doctor
Doolite?" I asked meekly like the rabbit before the great physician.
"No,
Mortician and Dentist. Masterson the name. I 'bat' you would not feel a pain
when I pull your bones out." I loved the way evil men speaks. They are so
macho. Dumbledore had shared my view; as he had placed on his spectacles then.
Must had needed the extra visualization or was it 4D for effects.
Lady of the
Gryffindor shrieked away in fright while Dumbledore was tearing at his clothes
like the green skinned rampaging monster but I would had told the warlock;
please get a pair of stretchable pants. At least his speedo beneath his suit
was doing a fine stretch there. I ran to the closet but Mindy was more
aggressive. She picked up the wooden spoon that we used for cooking and on.....
Never mind.
Doctor, pardon me;
Mortician and Dentist Masterson held up his bag to shield his face. He feared
the spoon and soon whisked himself off with some foul smelling brimstones smell
left in his trail. I walked up to Mindy and checked the spoon. It had a S
etched on it. I did it to remember it was a spoon and not my old pal from the
Osbid System. They are a bunch of wooden planks to bang ....... Never mind
again.
With the evil
Mortician and Dentist gone, my two guests decided to leave and have their
bickering on the cliffs of Dover. Mindy being nicer wanted to their counselor
but sanity prevailed; they decided the Sirens there would be a better set of
advisers. We stood there watching them took off on the broom sticks with our
Navajo Blanket. She did paid us in with some rare gold doubloon from Spanish gallery off
Brazil coast. Mindy took a bite on it.
"Care to bite on it?" Who could refused when she placed it down
south of the continent.
Sorry, Orson. That last event was the reason I was late. I would asked
Dumbledore for his email when I see him again. You old foxes ought to sniff
together next summer.
Cheers for now. Mork out. Na-nu na-noooo........
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