D&C 2.16: Am I who I was

Am I who I was or would I ever be myself.

I heard of rape; it was handed by the other department where mine was homicide but this was clearly madness. The guy claimed he was rape and yet he recalled nothing. Here was the guy over six feet and weigh like hunk, good looking for his age, well packed with wads of money from his father's inheritance; now claimed that he did not make love to the woman but she had raped him. That made good headlines; which was why I got involved in the case as a concerned citizen. I have both their statements with me, courtesy of the Rape and Abuse Section.

Richard Marten

Height: 6' 3"

Weight: 240 lbs

Regular on the socialite pages, with arms around some beauty or sometimes someone's mother. He was charming that even the elderly would loved him.

'I did not rape her.' Denial opening statement. "Yes, we never had sex before, but there was some petting. She was not my type. But on that night, I can't recall. I knew I was in the Dynic Club with Sam... My current date, Samantha Glades, and we danced till early morning. Then Tara came over to say hello to me. I introduced her to Sam, and then she asked me to walked her to the car. I obliged as a gentleman, and that was all I could recalled. Next I knew I was on bed, and with her next to me in that distressed state. She accused me of rape and called the Police. I did not stopped her as I was unable to move or even remember my name then. Detective I was drugged.'

Tox report came back with high level of alcohol but would not be considered as over board given his age and experience with the drink. He had no signs of drugs abuse, and was cleared of any other medications.

I turned to the victim report.

Tara Roberts

Height: 5' 3"

Weight: 110lbs

'I met Rick at the Dynic Club. I was there alone as it was ladies night. I arrived late as the shooting for my magazine spread was overdue. I took some drinks, met some friends, and then saw Rick. He was with another lady but I thought I said hello. We were introduced and spoke. Sam asked to be excused and left me alone with Rick. He was all gentlemen with his manners; asked about my works and how I was doing. I replied as we used to date for a few times, but no, we never slept with each other. I am a good girl who loves modeling but I drew the line on casual sex. I was waiting for the right guy.' I saw her expression; she looked emotional on the clip.

'The bastard rape me....' That came out real strong. The detective asked her to go back to the club scene.

"Yeah, he asked if I drove or needed a cab. I said I would be taking a cab. He offered me a drive; my place was nearby. I asked about Sam and he said she would be fine. He took me out and drove me back. He walked me to my door and then he helped me open the door. When I was walking in, he pushed me in. He then closed the door and locked it. He was bigger than myself. He hit me with his fist and then dragged me to the bedroom. He raped me not once but several times. He was a monster."

The tox report said no drugs, but high alcohol content. She could drunk more than she claimed. The rape report was bad; she was confirmed rape. There was tears on the wall lining in the vagina, and top end of the canal where force was applied in the case of rape. The cervix wall was also lined with some markings. There was bleeding marks on the bed spread and on both her orifice. They also found traces of the rapist semen inside her on both ends.

It looked like a case solved and firm conviction with twenty years for Rick, but why are we holding back. I got my answer soon that day,

"Jimmy, I want you to assist Detective Rose and Frances on this." The Commissioner had the two female detectives in tow. "They needed a fresh perspective to the case."

I wondered why me. I had never dealt with rape before, I only read the details; unless they died in the process. Nevertheless, I had the ladies to brief me on their views. It came out with more venom than the cobra had to offered.

"The Commissioner had his ass chewed by the Governor as Rick's father is his biggest contributor. So we are laid to examined by you for any discrepancies in our approach.." Detective Frances, ten years in the force with five in that section, had seen more rape cases than I ever read. I interrupt on her words.

"You mean like did you went bias on the male offender?" I asked back.

"Yeah, but we did stopped at shoving the truncheon up his ass." Detective Rose; my peer and had served in both Homicide and Rape plus Evidence Room. She was a 'FCP'; Female Corned Perpetrator. She did once tried to shaft the rubber hose up a suspect for multiple rapes but that was in the younger days. Not only the criminals feared her but we all did. I recalled having a tough time facing her at the Evidence Room when she was sent there for a year.

"Did you get any other evidence? Like cameras or witnesses who may heard her cries for help." I asked while trying to avoid their stares.

"Jimmy, I been doing this as long as you. So cut the crap and tell me something I may missed." Rose was holding up my pencil case and that was intimidation. I told them to come back later when I think of something. I ran off to Di Angelo, my favorite Hot Dog and Coffee man.

"Jimmy, if you have Rose for a partner, then get yourself an adult diaper." I hate it when Di Angelo gets one step ahead of me. He was good at Chess although he lost to me at Darts. He can't make out the bull eye for the bull's arse.

"Di Angelo, I need more info. Move your informants out. Get me ideas." I told him and then drove off to Club Dynic. I met the Assistant Manager, Micheal Leary. He knew more than the Manager who was half drunk and screening the ladies coming in. It was the job's benefit.

"I knew Rick. He's one of our regular. He comes in with his girls and leaves with them. But he was never into them." Micheal winked at me. "He would go off to his lover for the release."

"Lover? He had one?" I asked like a High School nerd asking if the girl would date him instead of the football hunk.

"Yeah, he does. The name is Erin or Erica. I can't remember." I knew that tone. He needed to see Thomas Jefferson to revived his memory cells. But I ran out of Thomas Jefferson, I only had one of George Washington. I gave that to him with the wad of tissues. He knew my meaning fast.

I went over to Rick's apartment, flashed my badge and walked in. It was a young man's pad; a rich man son's pad. He had the gym in the corner, the bedroom in the other section, with the jacuzzi in there, plus a sitting area enough to accommodate an extended family. He had expensive units for the TV, computers and hifi sets that I could only drooled outside the window glass. I saw his photographs with his pals from the Uni and the drinking pubs. Then I sat at his computer. It was turned on and there was the emails that he had not replied. I did intrude there but only on a few which I was curious.

Next I went over to Tara's place. As it was a crime scene, they sealed it off but my badge was the pass to go in. I saw the reality of a rape scene. It was ugly like that of homicide but this one left me a vivid image. I knocked on the neighbors doors and got the usual 'I don't know' reply. I went back to the apartment and checked the fridge. I was hungry, and there was some leftover cold meat. I searched for the bread and found she made her own; organic stuff. Then I saw the utensils. Interesting stuff these ladies used. They improvised when they cannot afford.

I drove back to the Precinct and asked Rose to assist me. I asked if she had taken any laptop or tablet. With the latest fad, we checked that for emails. She passed me the tablet and I send the unit to Forensic. Then I perused their spending habits.

Later I called in Rick for a session of knowledge sharing. I left out Rose and brought out Frances.

"Who is Erin or Erica?" I asked.

"I don't them." He looked concerned. "Why do you asked?"

It was then Rose came in. She showed me the printout.

"Do you know Jack Holmes?" I pushed the print out over. "He was your Uni mates. He was also you friend on the Erin' mails. That was the name he used."

Rick turned pale. He looked up to me.

"You must not tell my family. I would lose everything." He blurted out.

"Then tell me." I looked to Frances. "And to her. I know you did not rape Tara."

Rick nodded. He told us all he knew. It was a new one for me. Later I called in Tara. I had a new set of reports.

"You cooked, Tara?" She nodded.

"Bread, pasta; you loved to do cooking with dough. Do you mixed them yourselves?" She nodded. Then I pushed the pictures over.

"Yours?" She looked at it and then nodded.

"It should be. Your prints was on it. So was your blood. And his semen." I looked at her. "Tell us the truth now, Tara. Or it would harder when you get into the Penitentiary. There are brutes inside."

Tara spoke up. She told us the event that night.

"I left him on the couch. We were petting and kissing but he stopped at the sex part. He won't let me slipped out of my panty. He said it was not the same. I got up and shuffled toward the bathroom. On leaving there, I caught a glimpse of his tablet. He carries it with him every night. He was very private like he wanted to protect it. The tablet was flashing so I peruse it. It displayed the last twenty documents. Clicking open one at random I read them all." Tears rolled down Tara' cheek.

"One read like this. 'Erin, This has been a hard week for me. I haven't felt this empty in a long time. I can be the center of attention in a room of a thousand people and be alone. I have many people that I would consider friends or acquaintances but there is no one that truly knows me like the way you do. There are a couple of people in my life that would consider themselves close to me but none of them know where I was five years ago or even last year. I just wish I knew where you were. I miss you. Rick'. There were more, lots more but I felt I needed to know more. There were more. All labeled simply Erin followed by a date."

Tara looked up with the expression of the a woman scorned.

"I finally knew his secret. I too had a secret. It was something I told him and he accepted it. He was sleeping; he always do after he had his selfish release. That was him; all about him. And never me. I walked to the kitchen, and picked up the ropes. I also picked up the packet I took to give me a sense of euphoria while they take advantage of my female body. It mattered not as long as I knew then I was the female. I have the body that even other females would envy." I believed I swallowed more air than saliva then.

"I drugged him. He were never know. I needed to as he was big. Very big and I can't fight him, But with him drugged, he can't resist me. I slipped off my panty and snuggled into him. I pulled him out and got him aroused. It was all I needed. He moaned but he won't know what was coming." Tara smiled at me. "It was different with the others. I had lubricants applied before I start. But with him, I wanted it raw. I wanted it to hurt. I wanted him to know how I felt inside. I wanted him to rape me. For all the things I told him, the hours I waited for him. The agony of knowing you had the vagina and he loathed it. I wished I could had turned the clock back and be Terry. I had then a penis that he could looked forward to. It was the only missing thing he needed to make me feel complete with him. And I thought I was complete when I became Tara. I was mistaken. Terry would had felt more complete then."

 “I love you Rick.” Tara ended her statement.

The new test we did on Rick and Tara found scopolamine in his nose. He was drugged by her, when we found the remaining drugs in the kitchen. We never searched the kitchen as the rape occurred in the bedroom. Tara did dragged Rick into the bedroom for her extra sessions. She did everything and when he could not; she did it herself. Sometimes the stick can have multiple uses. We also found that Tara was Terry Riobart before she was transformed.

Erin was never revealed. Rick went back to his family.

Tara Roberts was sentenced to five years in the Women. She wrote to me a note on her conviction.

My life is not even my own anymore

Nor were they inspired by my new life
To them, I am merely the vessel
Selfish for theirs to take on.