I can assured you that even Coroner sometimes have fears of the dead coming alive. I know you can assumed that we spent time working on dead bodies, we would had overcome the idea of the dead coming alive but let me commit to you in writing; we are humans too. It was recorded in Medical Journal as the Lazarus Syndrome, with less than a hundred cases, but true events.
It all started on a rainy morning, when I walked into the Coroner's office. I was waylaid by a man dressed in a dark suit and white shirt with a set of well groomed hair. He was also carrying a cane in his right hand; a nasty looking one. I think it looked like those old English cane with a leaded heavy handle. He grabbed my right forearm and spoke to me in this accent.
"By George, you must be the Coroner. I am named Lazarus, and am pleased to meet you." I was not accommodating as he was standing on my office door steps with the rain falling on my overcoat.
"Excuse me." I was abrupt in my reply as I tried pushed my way past him.
"A man who dissect the creatures of God need not ignore the messenger of his." The man in the dark suit stood in my way, as he spoke on the needs of Man to be buried with decency.
I was getting wet and not in the mood to speak on the decency of Man at the door steps. I pushed my way through but he was not moving. So I had no choice but to raised up my right arm holding my briefcase to hit him at where it may hurt the most. He keeled over while dropping his came. I stepped past him and went inside. Once inside my office, I took off my coat and proceeded to my inner office.
"The wrath of God would be lashed on you,. Medical Man." The man who was on my doorsteps was now in my office. He was in some pain, but he was agitated at my cowardly attack. I turned around and glared at him.
"Fell not on my office dead, or I shall removed all your innards and have them barbecue at my yard this weekend."
The man laughed at my threat and walked back into the rain. I thought that was the last I would had seen of the man, but I was wrong.
My day was hectic, as I have a couple with me without identifications; no prints and missing teeth. The killer or killers did a good job on them, as those two are the basic identification kits on any dead bodies. I went for Jane Doe first as ....okay, I liked to do the ladies first. I am after all a gentleman in the making.
I checked her bodies from nails to hails, to the even the cleft in between her toes. Clean as a whistle; scrubbed clean like my friends here in the horizontal sleeping compartment. Not a trace of blood or mud for all I can see, so I decided to moved inside the body. That was my favorite as it means I get to used my cutter, scalpel, the vise to keep the bones apart and also the drill for the needed corners.
Hey, its my line of work and without doing it, I cannot established the cause of death. But before I do the tasks, I needed my music. Its my favorite from the plays like Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera or the Cats. They are inspiring and may even chase the spirits from the bodies. Thank the composer for that.
I started off with the chest; she's a perky number, with large penny size areola; Bernice' ones are like a dollar coin. We used to bet on that size during the medical classes on each girls that walked by, before Sam, my good friend would later asked the girl outright. He would ended up with a slap or a peek depending on what he can coined up on the questions.
Back to my Jane Doe, I pushed aside the flesh and looked at the ribs cage. No signs of any trauma; that's not good. It means I need go in there. I took up the ribs cutter and began my removal of the middle bones that held it together. I preferred using over-the-counter pruning shears as they add the leverage needed to lift off the chest plate and cut through the ribs so that the heart, lungs, liver, spleen and stomach are exposed. I removed the essentials parts and examined them for signs of damages. Then I proceeded to the lower abdominal sections; the intestines, the bowel, and the reproduction organs. I used the a blunt, bulb-ended scissors called an enterotome, which keeps the process neat and the gut internally unperforated.
Nothing there, and my next target was the head. She was a blonde; I wondered why, as this was the sixth I done in the last month. Nevermind that, I liked mine at home. She was an all natural one.
Before I could view the soft tissue of the brain, the skull must be cut through without damaging it. I used to start with a hand saw; used many of it in the war but found it very slow. Today, I used the quicker, electrical oscillating saw to open the skull. After sawing, a skull chisel is used to score and separate the top of the vault-like skullcap holding the brain. A hammer with a large hook on its opposite end pulls the skullcap aside to allow the coroner to view and remove sections of the brain.
By lunch, I was tired and decided that lunch was to be consumed or it would be me lying there. I took off my gown and visor, before proceeding to wash my hands. I then took up the car keys and walked to the main office door. I looked outside and the rain had stopped and there was no dark suit waiting for me. Soon I was in Di Angelo, with Jim and Frank.
"Any update on the duo?" I looked at Jim. He was always asking when there was a murder; more so when its a double. I shook my head as I gobbled down my rare burger with onions and lettuce. He wanted to asked more, but I stopped him.
"I will call you." I licked at the leftover sauce on my fingers and gulped the coffee down. I left the two of them to my potato fries untouched.
Once back at the Morgue, I was surprised there was another body there. It was the man with the dark suit. My assistant was removing his suit and leaving the body to me.
"Hi Doctor Dan. Thy found him dead on the road nearby. He must had died of something but the doctor was not sure. They found a note on him. Its said; I was murdered. Medical High sent him over to us." My lovely assistant, Helen; built like a Viking's wife with a bosom enough to snuff anyone who dares to come near it.
I walked over to the dead body after my assistant had removed the clothing for forensics. He looked like an older man, emancipated but looked healthy; probably organic diet with plain water and fresh air. Something I wished but I am past the age to impressed anyone.
Wait, I knew this face. Its the man in the dark suit. He was at my doorsteps this morning and now dead. I leaned over and looked at his face; placed my fingers over his eyes, nose and then mouth. It was then his eyes moved. I jumped back, and by instinct reached for the rib cutter. Well, if it can cut bones, it can probably stopped a dead man.
"Where am I?" The supposedly dead man spoke up. He slowly moved his body to the side and sat up with his legs dangling over my metal table. He shook his head and then looked up at me.
"Medical Man, what had you done to me?" Obviously the man was not used to been naked before another man. I was also then speechless as I tried to frame words in my vocals.
"You...were....dead. They sent ...you here.....I ~" I uttered those words and the man laughed out.
"I am not dead, Medical Man. I am a magician. I do know how to emulate death signs, and was doing it on the sidewalk. I guessed I must had overdone it." The man looked around. "Give me my clothes and I would be on the way."
"But how?" I asked the man who claimed to be able to simulate death.
"I was given a potion by the tribes from the deep jungle; a potion that stopped the heart for two hours but keeps the brain alive. I was given the recipe to make my own. I get them herbs from them from time to time. I do not know what and how, but it worked. I performed this tricks at the circus, and shows, but since my retirement, I generally do it to people like you." The man looked at me. "I like to see how your profession react to the dead coming alive. Hence my name Lazarus."
"Well, I am not amused. But I can't believed your tale. Show me your proof." I asked the man and he looked around. He then sighted his personal effects, which was not taken by Helen.
"Passed me my cane." He motioned to me. I did as he asked.
The man took the cane and turned the knob on the handle. He then drew out a vial which contain some blue potion. He showed it to me.
"This is the magical potion." He offered it to me but I declined.
"You are the magician. I am just the Coroner." I jested with him. "Show me how the stuff works"
He did and soon he was lying dead as in the expression I was becoming common to used.
An hour later, Helen walked in with the receipt for the clothes she sent to forensics. She saw me working on the dead man, as I deftly placed back his skull.
"Helen, please put on the report; John Doe died of brain damage due to unknown factors. Could be designer drugs; they killed a lot nowadays." I continued with my work. "Haste, Helen. I got another one to do. That one with the detectives waiting to solve the case."
I looked back at the dead man on my metal table.
"Helen, tell Medical High, if they can't handle the drug users then just shaft them into the storage. We can always used them for the Medical Students learning experience. Who knows? One day one of them may woke up and said hello."
"Doctor Dan, you are one crazy man." I smiled at my assistant remarks. Ain't we all crazy to think that the dead can wake up? I guess so it only happens on TV and never in real life.
"Helen, please placed all the organs into the freezer. I am having a barbecue this weekend."
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