We are never ever ever getting back together

Oooh we called it off again last night
But Oooh, this time I'm telling you, I'm telling you
We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends talk
To my friends talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together
Like ever...
I'm really gonna miss you picking fights
And me, falling for a screaming that I'm right
And you, will hide away and find your piece of mind with some indie record that's much cooler than mine

I looked at the portable as it play the song 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together'. I know I should picked up the call, but I am not making a move. I can't do it. There been too many promises and on some events; the missing birthdays. Even one would hurt but two makes the pain eternal. 

"Mummy, its your call." Little Betsy hands me the portable but the call had ended. My daughter of two years since my delivery at the clinic that night. She was there and we were both happy. Another major achievement of our relationship; another move to completing our love. The child was conceived with a donor from the bank which we placed our consent not to know the donor. He is not the one that matter here but the mother of the child who carried it to birth; giving it care, nutrition and above all the unquestionable love of the parent.

I looked at the screen and smiled. I alway like the photo captured there. It was taken four years ago and she was happy looking. We were all happy looking then holding Betsy who just turned one then.

"Beni ..... Beni......." Betsy stammer out her speech. She was having that infliction since birth.

"No, darling. Its not Beni." I took the portable from Betsy and walked back to the kitchen. She is always calling for Beni; my love and co-parent to Betsy. But I am the major parent here: I carried the baby for nine months, and the child looked for the one never had the morning sickness.
The scene at the kitchen was no better. It was the same three days ago; the dishwasher piled up to its brim and the table top where we have our meals are overladen with stale food and unclosed drinks carton. I picked up one carton and frowned at the stench it was emitting. I should be cleaning it but I find no solace in having to do that.

I am tired, Beni. You were always the one who could do the houseworks. My dorminant partner in all matters on family. I am tired of all this works; never ending at this home. Since Betsy turned three, my time was more for her. I can hardly remember a day when I have not to attend to Betsy; running to the shop with her in the pram all wrapped up, or waiting at the doctor' hall watching the queue number flicker. Damned you, Beni. You only stayed at home to howl in the phone when I am late.

Why now?

 Why not then so I could had decided on my lifestyle?

Damned you, Beni. For you I gave up everything; my career, my personal quips, my friends and some other lovers so we can be together. I even moved my belongings here; driving over the night and arriving just in time with the last spurt of gas in the tank. Yes, we had our days and nights. The hugs, the kisses and also the frolicking on the bed. But like a dream, it was all over as we were to think it would last.

Beni, I missed you. I tried to be the perfect wife; the one who made your breakfast; washed the dishes, argued with you on the coupons and then made love to you that night. Sure we had out walkouts; romped with some others at the bar but then we still come back.

But this time you ain’t walking through that door the next morning. You are away for sometime. Why? Did I do something wrong? Was the morning eggs wrong? Or was it the toast?

Or why it has to be me.

Beni, I am not a superwoman. You were one; ever holding me up. There is an issue but I can go to sleep and and wake up in the morning thinking that everything would be fine when I see you there next to me. But not anymore, you are not there anymore.

"Mummy, why are you crying?" Betsy placed her hand on mine. "You are also talking to yourself? Where is Beni?"

I looked at our child. Inside me, its telling me not to cry but I can't help it.

"Betsy, Beni is not coming home so soon. She may not be for sometime."

Betsy started crying and I want to lashed out at her but the portable rang again.

I know that tone. Its the Prison. I ran to the portable and picked up the unit.

"Chloe, its me Beni. You did not take my call, and the battery flat out. The warden was kind to lent me his office phone." I know that voice, but I could not answer.

"They rejected my parole again. I am going to here longer."

"Beni....... Didn't they hear your pleas? Betsy need you......."

"Chloe, its decided. Like the court hearing. No one would listen to our plea. Be strong on your own." I can hear Chloe cry. "Arrange for Betsy to see my mum's. She may accept her as she is mine. Not biological but in love. Tell Betsy, I would come back."

“No,Beni. I can’t be here forever. You did a stupid thing then and you dragged us all in. I can’t wait forever..... Beni, I am sorry.”

“Chloe, please don’t do this to me; not after what we been through. I loved you and also Betsy.” Beni paused on the line. “It was then; I was drunk. He came onto me. You saw it. I had to killed him. Its was that or he would had raped us both. I can’t allowed that. You are my love.”

I did not answer her.

We were just a couple then with a child, but the turn of events broke us up. Yes, the deserving one died but Beni was paying the price for an action taken to protect her family. Our family but we could not afford the attorney to made them see it from our view. They gave her ten years, but its been a long three years now. Three long years have passed; the period that took our love to be stretched to the limits.

“Chloe, talk to me. I loved you. I am sorry.”

“You need not be sorry, Chloe.” I muttered to myself. “Its me who cannot wait for you anymore.”

“But why? We promised each other.” Chloe pleaded on the phone.

“I can’t wait anymore.” I hung up on my love. This time I cried out loud. She may not know it, but I have another one to love on. Its my mind and body. It needed real physical love.

The DJ on the radio announced the next song to be played. The DJ spoke to the audience listening.

“This dedication is for Beni who is serving time. The message was; its all over, and I am sorry to let you down. “
I used to think, that we, were forever ever ever
And I used to say never say never
Huh, he calls me up and he's like, I still love you
And i'm like, i'm just, I mean this is exhausting, you know
We are never getting back together, like ever
We are never ever ever getting back together
We are never ever ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends talk
To my friends talk to me
But we are never ever ever ever getting back together

( Inspired by the song in the album Red by Taylor. )