Continuing on the Hillbilly Saga.
"Harley
Henry, I'll be darned that we make it till this morning." I turned over
and looked at my feuding neighbor of over fifty five years spanning three
generations of maiming; by golly we never 'kilt' anyone or we would had ended
up in jail. I meant my grandpa lost his right knee, his pop lost the use of the
right arm, and among the other more serious ones; his ma lost her left twinkie
toe.
"Yeah, I be
darned by the generations." Harley turned over to looked while still
holding to that keg of moonshine we brewed last week in the yard. "If my
Pa sees me talking to you, it would had been my hide tanning there with the
beavers and rabbits."
"Yeah, we had
this battle on for too long. I wondered who started it." I knew then it
was the drop of alcohol that triggered that statement. I took a swipe of my own
keg and then looked over.
"Forget I
asked. We might be going back now since its past noon, and the newly weds
needed to rest for their next round." I pulled myself up from the porch,
but Harley was onto the topic.
"Yeah, why
did we start? I knew that Grandma told me it was your Grandpa peeking at her
when she was bathing. Then she screamed..." Then Harley was always a liar.
I stutter in my words.
"My grandpa
peeking? Heck it was yours who was chased off the farm with his pants undone to
the knees." I drooled it out while hitching up my pants. Darned loose from
the missing belt.
"Be darned!
No Harley even ran with their pants down." Harley was also pulling himself
up. "I knew my side of the story well. Your grandma could even rivaled
that ol' Sally in the pen." Sally was his prized cow who had more litters
than any cows.
"Teats yours!
I was told your Grandpa had pock marks on his arse not from birth but from the
gun pellets." I drew my own ammo on the nefarious misbelieving bigot for a
neighbor. It was then the anomaly walked out. It looked like the Harley's;
weird dressing, bra cuppage for the ears and dark shades for the eyes, with a metal
plate held in the hands. And those boots are with holes for the toes. Then the
biggest anomaly arrived; hovered over us and landed on its skid marks. I
reached for the shotgun but the anomaly stopped me.
"Its my ride
back home." It explained to me while it walked to the landed craft.
"Its a copter. Its flies that way."
"Who are
you?" Harley asked the anomaly.
"I am your
cousin Jed. You did recalled I shot the rabbit at the hole and found the black
gold. Well, it paid off. I am now a millionaire."
"I'll be
darned! He does looked like one who stay on the 'air'. I seen my share of them,
complete with double antennas. Heck, I even shared my moonshine with them and
discussed gibberish notions of armageddon in 2014. Darned those anomalies even
took my keg to produce on their own yard. Talked about globalization; I could just
read those words, Jacobs Keg was here first.
The craft took
off, while I looked to Harley.
"It must had
been your side of the family. Anomalies ran deep there." I was getting
worried on my son being married to his daughter. "But care not, my son genes
would wrestle over any anomalies."
"And have my
grandchildren being plastered with pock marks on their behinds..." Harley
was one anomaly who could twist the truth to be a lie. I looked back at him,
and smiled.
"They better
be when I spanked them hard." God, I luv that neighbor of mine when he was
all riled up. If not, he was an anomaly to lived next to.
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