Male Tales No. 1.095

Issue 1.095: Man to man or father to son ...

I have a son and he is in his early teens. I know him to be a reserved, naturally quiet kid with some friends in the neighbourhood ( sanctioned by us as parents ), rebellious ( expected of a boy ) but generally okay with the parent’s instruction. He dies not cheat at his school exams, and comes home before curfew. Fine, so he grows well and eats more than me, but he is a growing kid.

But what did not prepare me for when he asked me one day; ‘what do I want to be when I am older?’

I be darned honest if he asked me if he can kissed a girl his age or sneak off to the mall without our permission, I would had the answers from my internal ‘Wiki’ but this one is not in my list.

Did we discussed with our dad then?

Or was it, you do this and we answered uh-huh or let the neck muscles relaxed so that the head can nod by itself.

I meant I never asked my dad anything except ‘money dad for the ..... ‘ you know things you need. And money came with the exact change or a look that says ‘ask your mum’.

But I never asked dad; ‘Gee, dad. Do you think if I become a plumber or shall I become a pilot?’

I think either way he would had replied; ‘ ask your mum’.

So how do you reckon I can carry out a conversation ( note the difference ) with my son on ‘what can I be?’ I could visualise many roles and responsibilities. And when I matched them to him, I have to drop most of them off given the current temperamental and attitude, plus body mass and brain deductive powers of mine. Not him. I am probably moulding him into my frame and see how he ( or me as in ‘body sense’ ) be seen doing the works as in he or I would be doing it.

So there goes some work descriptions and then the final listing of 25 possible works he can excel in. Now I reshape his ability to survive in that work, and his support of himself and his immediate family then. Wow! There goes the list down to 10 possible jobs.

Now comes the hardest part. Can I put him through those years of education or can he bear up to it? Or will he dropped out halfway and end up looking like the Fab Four, appearing on my doorstep which I will be opening with the help of my crutch or cane. There goes down the list to 3 jobs.

And they are quite a good fix.

So I will say’ ‘Son, when you are older, you might want to be ..... and ....this or ....... that. But you need to focus on your education as its needed in the ....... and ........ or ......... but you decide then.’

And guess what?

His answer flatter me truly.

‘I was just asking if you do listen to me. Now I know you do, So thanks, dad. But on my career, let me decide okay? I am old enough to think and decide without your views. Be my dad when I need you.’

‘Sure, son. I will be there, when you need me. But don’t take too long, as you are still holding my change of the $50 I gave you. I still need the change if there is any.’

Now that was my Man to man or father to son talk.

And it was our first. Probably won’t be the last of the few to come. But its a good start, considering mine with my dad was a series of ‘uh-huh’ and neck jolts.