Dark 6: I was kept awake

"For the umpteenth times, I have....I mean to say I don't have any idea whose thongs those were and I thought..." I was then the kid caught with the hand in the cookie jar or worse, my wife found the red thongs I had kept in my study desk. It kept me awake for nights wondering whose and how it got there.
"And in your dreams you could.... what whiff at it or please don't let me say it..." I heard my wife of over thirty years. We been through the grinds and pinches with the love and kisses, but narry the argument then on a pair of red thongs. I had worse items in storage some unknown to her but never had she displayed such anger. Honestly, the thongs discovered some days back was in my desk drawer, among my other artifacts notably hidden. I had sleepness nights wondering whom it could had belonged to and why was it my drawer.
"Trust me, darling. I am past....I meant I am not into it...Maybe
Aunt Mathilda left it here by mistake"
"My Aunt is over fifty and she won;t...." The lady in house replied.
"She wore miniskirts..." I uttered back in self defense.
"She got great legs.... Did you peek at her?" The destroyer had appeared on the horizon then, and she aimed to sink me then.
"Heaven forbids..." I defended myself then.
"Hell relished....I know you well, Mister. You peek at mine at times." I was in disbelief at this lady. She accused me of peeking when I was her audience every morning to her parades. One lesson I learned in the marriage, never argue with the lady when she is the lady, judge and executioner.
"Okay, I admit. Every Monday, Jake and me have a bet of guessing what color our wives wore that day. The reward was the Latte from Starbucks. I won most times. Jake's wife wore mostly black. " I won't deny my grin was badly accepted.
"And what does Jake thinks I wore?" The lady asked.
"Uh...."
"Nothing?"I wished I had not nodded then but the muscle in the neck reacted voluntarily. She went from 'pink' to 'red'. I was saved by my daughter then; married and still sharing our home. She stepped in with the oversized t-shirt that says;'I m fucked!'
"Dad, Mum. Can you please lower your voices. Martin and myself are trying to make a baby."
"Ok, we will.... and go back to yours.....whatever it was. And tell Martin do it right or I am giving him my instruction manual."
I guess I was out of line then but I have four then with my in laws in the next room.
"Oh, cool. Mum, can I have my thongs back? It must got lost from last Saturday when you send Aunt Mathilda home. We had the house to ourselves.." My daughter grabbed the thongs and left us staring in disbelief at each other.
"Darling, do you have the disinfectant here? I need to wipe my desk now." Since then, I have more restless nights wondering what else was in my desk.....