1.
It was just before the break of dawn, when I took the washing out to the line to hang it. Its a heavy load added by the wooden round pail I used but I was not surprised that the young man was there to help me with it. The young man is slight build with a beardless look was a sight better than most I seen in days. Two weeks ago he was found on my porch near to death but I took sympathy to him. I told the husband of mine to cleared the cot and laid him there. I nursed him for two days before he could utter a word to me. It was the sweetest words I ever heard; he said' 'thank you, ma'am'. William is what he call himself then and soon to be introduced with his full name of William H. Bonney. He was a fine young gentleman with a strong back but I am already married to a mule of my own, whom I carried for him two kids to carry his family name of Jones.
"William, thank you for helping me. I seen you done also the wood chopping and tended the horses. So tell me, young lad; what ails your mind?" I seen him restless these few days and he sleep none of much into the night. His eyes are on the horizon and I seen it many a times in my time in many young man.
"Pardon me, Mrs Jones. I am okay and nothing troubles my mind lest you are referring to the missing shoe on the chestnut. I can't find it no where even though I had searched the barn out. But I would keep on looking till I find it. That's my promise to you." The young man is now picking up the last of my washing and pegging it on the line. The southern wind is blowing now with a slight breeze and the sun is on the horizon. It will be a hot day and that is good for my done chore of washing. Never an effort wasted on this good day.
"Sit here by me, William. I know what is ailing you?" I motioned to the young man to take his seat next to mine on the pile of chopped woods. "It ain't nothing to be shamed of when your soul needs to seek its own searching out there. Its the every right of any young man who is without a family. Mr. Jones was one like you and he traveled the south and did his bit for the soul. When he found me, his soul told him to stop the traveling and settled down. He done so since then as its need no more searching anymore. Yours is still in need of that search." I held his right hand in mine and pat it ever slowly.
"Mrs.Jones, its not I am seeking anything but I am trying to run from it all. I done wrong in my life. Before I come here, I was a horse thief. I also killed a man in Fort Grant. So you see Mrs.Jones, I am not what you see in me." He stood up and with his hand at his heart trying to tell me what I should see in him. "I am not past my seventeen years and I am a killer in the making."
I slapped him hard on the face. His face turned red but his hands held loose at his side. Soon the tears came down on his cheeks and his head dropped down. I stood up and held him to my bosom like my own child.
"William, I am sorry. I did not mean to do that. I am sorry." But the poor lad is crying out his fears and frustrations to me. I can feel his pain of a life he was not meant to live unlike many of his age, but he been through it. "I don't know you before but for the last weeks, you been like a son to me. And that is all that matters to me."
"I am so sorry.... I did not want to it..... But I had to. Its the way to stop the beating. Its the way I had to live. I am sorry......Ma'am." He is sobbing like when my kids feel lost and confused. I let him cry his heart out. He needed to if he is to learn to be a man. But for now, he is my child to be held on for love.
I let him take the black mare to ride out. Its the only gift I could give to my kid who is leaving his home. He rode out that day but he left me a gift in my heart for one more kid named William H. Bonney.
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