Read below at your own risk. No, its not porn. Its life. More so for life after twenty years. Same sex partner but with up and downs in the rolls.....lol. No. darling, this is not for PG13. Its for parents only; so I guess the rank would be PP- Parents Patrons.
Okay, the blanket is up now. Shh......
"Is that it?" She had to asked as I rolled over.
"Uh-huh." I pulled up the blanket and turned over. "I thought you had it coming. Or didn't you? Don't tell me you are faking it again."
"Geez, even if I did; you wouldn't know the difference. You were and would always be the Gunnery Sargeant; good on the range but never did well on the combat zone." She gave out her exasperated sign. "Oaf! With you, I think Frankenstein has more life than you."
"Frankie a chug along train. He may be shooting blanks." I laughed at the comparison. "This one is a valued rotary cannon with an extended barrel. It fires millions by the end."
"Yup, and tasted like sour cream. Ever wondered why I kept the jar of marmalade there. Its called variation in taste. I liked you when you were dieting then." She had me on an organic diet and it darned near killed me. I could see where I peed.
"The organic stuff? Please, it almost killed me." I protested.
"Well, it gave us Ryan. He is a fine boy lad now." I now my Ryan; he is definitely an organic growth produce, all lanky and flat by the side profile. I wondered if he's got a stub on him let alone be considered a stud like me.
"Well, I heard you. You were moaning its there. So I putted the ball." I remarked back. "I know my golfing well. Played them eighteen holes very weekend. Got every one of those holes in on the par or at least a birdie."
"Well, on this green; you did last in the first hole; and for the record, the par was way below the mark. Never had reached it since last Christmas in '99 and then was because I read the Harlequin Romance book before we started. You could said you were saved by a few prelude chapters." Darned, she still has that book, and it ain't no romantic getaway. More like what Jimmy used to read and hides in the locker.
"Darling, if that is a Six Wood Stick then I am the sand pit. You ain't hitting it right. More than to it, you only played with me once over the second hole. That was cherished memory." Now that a swing below the par. I turned over and looked at her.
"Looked at me, Missy. Don't throw your misery on my golfing. I swore I heard you moaning and even my hearing aids off, I can picked up those decibels like the birds chirping in the woods." Then I heard it. "See I told you, I could hear you again. So move your hands up."
"Jon, my lover of twenty years. What you may had heard was Jimmy's speaker sounding out his latest pron flick." I tuned in my ears and darned it. She's right. Its Jimmy; hard of hearing and doing the 'willy wonka' over the TV set. I knew Jimmy and he is one single desperado in this field. If he is a cherry, then its probably needed to be dunked in vinegar for lasting looks.
"Darned him. He ought to get a head set or had his head banged." I regretted joining in with the guys to buy him that set. Delayed me buying two new golf balls.
"Well, it inspired you way ahead of your last record. Sure you got any left in that oil well of yours, Baron." She always smiting me on my Dallas ego.
"Well, darling Susan. Ma' pipes are closed today like the prairie dog hunting for a hole to dig on a granite surface. There is a safety valve there for a reason. We can't afford another kid at our age. Even if there were any reserves, with your demands and my limited supply, I doubt I could pump up anymore." I yawn and stretched my back.
I be darned that the spine hurts like its been twisted on the Inquisition Rack. It was never like this ten years ago.; I could had out dance even Elvis if we would compete on the pelvis number. Those old days were just like yesterday, if there was a need for a rodeo rider, I could had ridden the mare down to her knees then, but now I reckon even if a ass of a mule would to present itself now, I would be finding it hard to mount a ride.
"You called me an ass of a mule? Jonathan Blake." I am sure she can read my mind. "If I had an ass of a mule, you are the most pathetic donkey I have ever mated. I think maybe Jimmy yonder could be the long horn bull I been mooning for."
"Jimmy, my ass! Jimmy ain't got anything to maul an ass. He is a stub and we all know it in the club. He does not come out and takes a shower when we around." I am darned proud I took my bath regardless of who is in the shower room. "Even Margarita once said, she thought she found a fire stick on me."
"If Margarita saw a fire stick, she must had been mistaken your cigarette lighter for it. You got to hold it to keep the flame going or jack it more on the side. " The lady scorned is when told they have a mule ass.
"Well, fiddle stick, go and join the Master's series, while I settled for Jimmy across the hall. At least, he may appreciate an ass of mine to be mauled." She tossed herself over to her side, while I am left with a broken putter.
"I be damned if he gets to play on my greens." I gave up on the exchange and decided to lay back. Then it dawned on me.
"How come most times, you are the one laying back and I am doing the push ups. I would like to be the one laying back for once." That got her riled She turned over, and looked at me.
"For one, you could not spread it like mine or you suffered a cramp in your thighs. And the other, you told me your back ain't designed to hold my weight. If you recalled I was a forty five pounder with the handle bars. Now I am sixty eight heavy with a twin fuel tank on the front." She does slapped hard for a sixty eight heavy. I could had swore she was getting into S&M but right now I think I settled for a M&M instead.
"Jon, all the arguing, giving me a headache. Get the aspirin for me from the dresser." I know where her aspirins are; they are her safety net for a round of golfing. Funny, these are not in white but blue.
"Susan, did they get a new packing? These are blues." The reply was alarming.
"No, Dumbhead. The blue ones are for you. Its called Viagra. Looks like I have get a refund now. Sure did not work on you. Wasted my money and four hours of anxiety. I even missed Desperate Wives."
Well, I could wait another four hours. After all, the patron are entitle to a return performance or money refund. In this case, I am not not for refunds.
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