Hold on there...... this story is rated NC-17 but its as sweet as Pooh's pot of honey...... I thought I try something 'fizzy' this time.
I did cautioned you there, so read at your own ........ hormone raging? or is it hormonal changes? Guess I would shut up now.
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We all read the tale of Peter Pan, and his adventures. We read of Peter, Tinkerbell, the Lost Boys and also on Wendy Darling who wears the simple dress; surely you must had asked yourself how come the other 'heroine's' like Cinderella, Snow White gets to wear beautiful gowns. Well, even the Indian Princess smock if I may named it looked more exotic than Wendy floral print.
But we are not here to talk about Wendy. She had many coverage in the tale. We are here on a character that many mistakenly forgotten; Micheal Darling.
Who?
The one who was still in 'long johns' and holding a milk bottle ( assuming you are reading the same version as mine. ) He did not feature so prominently as his elder brother as you can't really hurt anyone with the milk bottle. He could bawl loud but that would taking the screen presence from Peter Pan. So poor Micheal gets the corner end of the screen and haul in when he is needed as prop.
But someone told Micheal grew up since then. Who cares about Wendy Darling? She is on tweeters so much that even the birds stopped tweeting on her. But not poor Micheal as he was always left out. Even his own Facebook was only patronized by Nanny or lookalike Mary Poppins minus the umbrella.
Did you know I actually pop into his Facebook the other day? Okay, I admit; I thought Micheal Darling was you know.....psssst....'cowboy from Broken Mountain'. But it turned out he had the largest...... be sensible, ladies, I meant to say his smile.
Yes, he dropped all his milk teeth and now flashed them straight rows like the advert for toothpaste. And he has a nice dimple at the left cheek.
Naturally, we communicated ( I mean I declared I was a fan of his ) and one day he told me a secret.
He was infatuated with Tinker Bell. It was then in Never Never Land when he saw her. He declared to me; it was love at first glance. C'mon, the kid was genuine; he ain't no Cowboy rider. He was a true .... Gee, never cross me to asked him. Maybe next time, when we meet again.
Anyway back to the secret.
If you recalled then, Tinkerbell was like ..... a mere six inches in height although she had the stats to matched Barbie anytime. I did named her then as Bebe Doll.
Pardon me, now where was I?
At that height, she was larger than life in the eyes of Micheal then. If on comparison chart, she would be like Sally Field next to Stallone. Micheal may be a growing boy then but he was growing in his mind too. He did wondered how come this small petite ( hey, its his words I am typing here. ) can be so fun to be with. He used to followed her around, tumbling over the Lost Boys and almost at one time fell into the sea if not for Peter Pan. But soon the little boy grew up and he was about fourteen then ( you know the years of raging hormones ) that he noticed that he actually like to look at the woodland pixie.
Okay, the pixie dress made a lot of difference. Its the late 19th Century and all that should be 'cladded' was courtesy of Queen Vic.
So one day, Micheal in his bluey moods sat by himself in the woods. There are no more fighting with Captain Hook then, as he was last seen at the Old Pirates Retreat with 'croc-bia'; its a fear of crocs syndrome. So Micheal sat there on the roots of the old oak tree ( oak do grow at Never Never Land ) with the wooden sword that he had been diligently practiced.
"Hello there, Micheal."
Micheal looked up and sighed. Its the Unicorn and he is one pesky irritating mount that should had been mounted. He thinks just because he's got a ramrod on his nose bridge; he is the King of the Mounts. More to it, he always turning up at the worst possible moment. Incidentally, his name was Murphy.
"Hi Murp," Micheal called him to irritate him.
"Did you know I have just acquired this crystal that can do wonderful things like Aladdin' lamp." Murphy told Micheal as it trot over and stepped over the root. "Pesky vines always gets at my horn."
Micheal just ignored the Unicorn until the magic word was spoken.
"I wished for an apple like the one in Snow White but without the poison, and viola; it appeared before me. I tell you George Washington would had been proud of that apple."
Micheal looked up to Murphy and asked if he could loan the crystal.
"What are friends for? Sure!" Murphy the Unicorn told Micheal. "But let me get it out first. We don't have pouches like Skippy. So pardon me. I would do it behind the bush."
Later, Murphy came with the crystal in his mouth. He dropped it on front of Micheal. Its pea sized and looks like a smooth cut eight faced octagon best fitted to the tiara or bracelet.
"I cleaned it. Cheshire Cat coached me on the works. Like in Broadway. We rehearsed daily and I tell you the insertion part was the hardest to learn." Murphy' face grim with all the lines of his facial muscles well pronounced on the top of his nose bridge. "Do you want me to demonstrate it?"
"No, its okay." Micheal declined the pre-ultimate act to the show. "I would have it returned to you shortly."
Micheal ran off to look for Tinkerbell.
Micheal met Tinkerbell near the sea shores. She was weeping and kicking at the incoming waves. Micheal walked up to her and saw down next to her. That way he was just above her by three times her height.
"What's up, Tinkie?" Okay, he has a nickname for her. Its their secret. So shut up and let me complete the tale.
Tinkerbell poured out her woes to Micheal She told him of her misery as a woodlands pixie and she wished she was a human character like Wendy. As she cried out her misery, she was plucking his leg hair and that caused Micheal a lot of misery too. She keep on lamenting that its not fair that Wendy gets her man and she is stuck in the shadow of Barbie Doll.
"But Tinkie, what if I can make you into a human? Would you like that?" Micheal asked her. Tinkerbell thought for a long while and then she spoke up.
"I doubt so. If I become a human, I would be about ninety nine in human years, and that means a lot of things on me would be droopy. Heck! I do not want to be called Snoopy next by you."Tinkerbell clarify her dilemma if she is transformed. Then it hit her and she asked back to Micheal
"Do you love me?" Now that is a 'direct frankly tell me so' question even in the times of Queen Vic. "Answer me; yes or no."
Tinkerbell flew up to the height of Micheal's face and looked at him.
"Tell me the truth and stopped staring at my cleavage. Hmmm...." Tinkerbell adjust her pixie dress.
"Yes." Micheal muttered back. And Tinkerbell flew up to his nose and punched it hard.
"Young man, speak up like a man or shut your feelings forever." Tinkerbell shout at him.
"YES!" Micheal shouted out and almost causing Tinkerbell to fall into the sea on the vibration of his vocal. Micheal grabbed her up and tried to resuscitate her.
"Pooh..... Do you mind? At the rate you are pressing down on my boobies, they would be massed potato when I recovered." Tinkerbell pulled the coarse hands of Micheal off her chest. She got to admit it does feel nice to be kneaded.,
"Well. Micheal; why don't you be a pixie like me? You could wished on the crystal and then we can live together. I mean given your current ....size, I would be taking on more than a mouthful there." Tinkerbell winked at Micheal.
So Micheal made his wish and that is why we did not see Micheal anymore in the sequel of Peter Pan. He is too small to be noticed by anyone on the big screen. He also disappointed a lot of nannies like the Mc Phee; heard they went off to mind some nasty kids in NY. Micheal gave Tinkerbell a silver ring he bought with his allowance as his gift.
And like all other fairy tales, Tinkerbell and Micheal lived happily ever after. As for me, I was the one who officiate the wedding as its the law in Never Never Land. I am after all the Judge there. Just called me Dredd.
So the next time you see or hear some rustling in the bushes, please be discreet.
Or we would be facing an extinction of pixies in this land.
Okay, I would tell you. Murphy took his crystal back after that day. He still wouldn't loaned it to me. He does not trust me to saved the endangered nymphs, although I declared him my clean bill of health.
I also swore an oath on the Book of Natural Law that I would take full responsibility for any offsprings. And I won’t make any more snide remarks on his ‘smallish’ unicorn horn.
“Murphy is a sore loser......” That is my current chant when I see him at the woods.
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