Dark 28: Barely breathing

“Jimmy, my dear boy. Are you learning seated there or prefer the far corner at the back?” I heard my teacher giving me a statement from the front of the class. I was paying attention but not to her. I was taking glimpses of the girlie magazine hidden in my desk. It was not entirely hidden, for I had the cover open and the cover of the magazine could be seen. It was to be my handmaid attendee with the clock ticking away ten minutes before the bell will sound as if we were to dash for safety from sadistic teachers and offending school prefects; they were referred to as informants. Incidentally, I was one with the badge of the prefect but I was the ally to the miscreants and troubled possessed puberty then. I lived my school days fed with free meals.

“No, ma’am.” Yes, I was well versed with my manner courtesy of the number of books I had read then. There was Georgette Heyer of the Merlin Chronicles, Annette Toole of the M&B (I skipped Barbara Cartland for almost every girl in the line up of five read it twice or thrice then. I sort of hung around the private library near the school, and the girl all went there. I was too but my real reading was on the shelf at the rear, shadowed by another shelf from inquiring eyes. There were the adult’s novels; the 50’s and 60’s dime paperbacks. The novelty of those sections was on one side were these paperbacks and if you turned your back, you end up perusing Western and WWII paperbacks. I had to do several of John Travolta’s turns on my heels than when someone stepped in there. Most times, it was the Librarian Assistant; a nasty lady who appears there with the duster but her intention was as clear like the morning sun in your eyes. If anyone asked me how does she look like; she was an imprint of Mr Kaplan from the Blacklist series. Pardon me, Mr Kaplan, I can assure you to hold a better look.

And back to the girls which were my diligent trips to the library, the girls could recite the crucial passages by the words. As for me, I speed read mine in seconds. It was the essence that counts. and Black Beauty by Anna Sewell (that was introduced by Laurel; lovely dark from my third year in my neighbourhood. I would have sworn if I was into horse riding, I would have …. Excuse me, we shall be decent here.)

“Yes…. No, ma’am. I meant no, ma’am.” I stammer my reply.

“And you should be affirmative in your reply, Jimmy.” I nodded at my teacher who knew my grades were affirmative to her liking. I was her best and darn, I wished then I was more affirmative with other grades.

“Perhaps, it’s the time for lunch which is making you distracted.” I was a relief. I was hungry then; the last meal was a peanut butter laced in between the pieces of bread. And it was a small dish; the idiot had gulped down the fruit drink and the apple. God, I wondered how he managed to digest that in one meal.

“Yes, ma’am. I am hungry.” The classroom of twenty-five peers burst into laughter. That called for retribution later. I am the head honcho in my class. I knew every laughter and they will pay the price soon. I could make Torquemada cringed in the corner on my method. My teacher looked at me and smiled. She was amused at me calling her ma’am while the others addressed her as Ms Dee or Teacher Dee.

“You will have your lunch soon.” I was hungry then and more so, hungrier for the lady standing before me. She stood there with her pose then could be described as imposing on my puberty. Let me describe the lady here.

Ms Sandra Dee was a blonde, reaching the dizzy heights of five half feet in her flat heels. Her legs encased in the body shade stockings within the orange flock buttoned to the bosom measured two-third of her frame. She wore a soft fabric blouse inside her flock. She was slim in the looks like the others in my class except maybe Simone Deere whom I swear if she ever has the urge to topple me, all she needed was do a body slams into me, and I would have suffocated. She was huge, and honestly, a let down when I was comparing sizes from the magazines and my mind went strayed.

“Jimmy, if you are still with us. We can …” Ms Dee raised her book towards her bosom.

“Jimmy is having….” I heard Billy first, and reacted with mu infamous ‘swap the rat in the fly’. I slapped my foot-long wooden ruler with a thickness of several millimetres. It went across like a jet fighter clinging near the surface, and then the missiles were released. The impact was hard and Billy muffled expression expressed the damage it was done.

“Are you okay, Billy?” Ms Dee asked then, and I gloriously rode into the scene.

“I think Billy hurt his right toe.” We all knew Billy have corn there. “My chair must have kicked him …. No, I meant to hit him on the toe.”

Of course, I knew the toe and where I hit was more than a corn. More like a kernel of it.

“Well, I ….. “ Ms Dee was or rather I was by the bell. It rang but my hard press matter was still hard on target. I was offered lunch with Ms Dee.

We had steak pie and masher, or rather I did. Ms Dee had a salad and decaffeinated coffee.

“Jimmy, you look like your dad.” I believed it was then the piece of steak did not go down my throat. I knew I should have paid attention during the health study classes; ‘Munched your food before swallowing’.

“You knew my dad?” I disliked the song played behind me on the jukebox. It was “Look at Me, I am Sandra Dee’ by Stockard Channing, 2004 in the movie ‘Grease’. What can’t they play Bon Jovi or NKOTB?

“Well, let me give a history lesson. I was with your dad before your mum married him. We were close for a short time, and then we went apart. I left him to complete my studies. He married my best friend, Dolly Shane. She is your mother.”

Shane was my mother’s maiden name.

“Uh, when was this?” I asked her. I had then moved my plate aside. The beef then tasted bland to my taste bud.

“It was the Woodstock 1999.” I heard my dad mentioned about Woodstock. He told me attended one back in 1999 and was memorable.

“We barely made it out alive. It was wild and disorganized but we were at peace then. I and your dad were a pair and we toured Europe from Rome. We went loaded to broke but we had no care. We were just into each other. I was no older than you by a few years. Soon after we parted ways at the London airport when your grandparents came to escort him home. I have not seen him since then until I came to teach here. I recognise your mother but she was unable to recognise me. I have changed my name and hairdo plus some other enhancements.”

I would swear to upheld myself decently but when she moved her hands to cup her breasts (I meant it was one of the pointers of my fantasy.) the piece of meat dislodged from my throat.

“Do you want to see Dad?” I saw the hesitation in her eyes but she shook her head.

“Jimmy, like you, will do soon from High School this semester, your dad and I had graduated when we part in London. I have lived my life well. I have not married but I have seen the world on my own. And I got my teaching degree and here I am. What surprised me was to teach you. For the last six months, I have watched the ….. son I was never to have. I would have loved to have you but I am not your mother. However, watching you reminded me of your dad. You are a chip off the block.”

“You have your father’s butt.” That embarrassed me. “And your … That may not be far from the apple tree.”

I crossed my legs and kept my hands on my thighs. Our conversation then moved from my dad to me on my future. It ended that day when she told me she was leaving school. She told me to graduate and move onto a good career.

“Above, all be true to the lady you loved.”

On my graduation, I received two gifts from her.

One was her picture from the school days. I had that picture in my room next to the poster of Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft (Well, Anne’s legs only) from the movie, The Graduate.

The second was a card with the poem to my dad.

We were young and lively than

We had visions of a longer lifetime

You and me taking the journey together

Watching the stars and building our home

Love and fresh air won’t work in life

We were told of that by many and heard none by us.

Till the hunger and tears came daily

Realisation that despite our love, we need a real life

We had to part to live the reality of our life

We parted from sight but our hearts went on

Unfortunately, despite our promise to be together

We knew in our mind that promises are meant to be broken.

We broke it eventually to move forward with our real life

If only we had listened earlier then we won’t have to graduate apart.