Dark 18: Charming and his loves

1.

“Prince Charming indeed.” The lady seated at the bar counter ranted out loudly. She dressed like a demure librarian with her hair tied up in a bun to the rear, and rounded spectacles gave her look the studious expression which incidentally was her nature. Her name was Belle, and she held those bells on her bosom that even the Bells of Canterbury could not compare in dimensions. “The only that may be charming of him was he currently named himself Charming.”

“Belle, darling. You must not be upset for you are not in love with one. Your lover is a beast.” The second lady laundered in her reply like the clean sheets she insisted on the bed daily. Her name was Cinderella with her retinue of servants that worked on every command of her to keep the place clean. It was so clean that if there was any need for urgent surgery, it could be done at her kitchen floor.

“Pooh to all of you. If only mine was not charming but beastly, I won’t be fingering myself to sleep daily.” Princess Aurora aka Sleeping Beauty moaned in her say of the matter. She had been having issues sleeping with her long sleep beforehand had kept her mind alert day or night.

“And to that, I am to ask for the return of my ‘Don’t be dwarf by your Sensual.” The fourth lady dressed in the off-shoulder gipsy blouse and flared skirt called out. She had her hair pinned back to resemble the shape of the Roman headpiece while her shoulders slouched forward. It was her bosom which weighed her down with the litter of small ones. She was blessed with the family of seven ravenous kids. She could not help it for she was always turned on by the kiss on the lips; down under was more desirable.

“Girls…. Perhaps I should say, Ladies. Please present yourself more …. Ladylike.” The stern voice of the fifth lady manning the counter could be heard then. “I am sure Charming is ….. charming.”

“Oh God, God Mother.” All four ladies replied in unison. “He is a prick.”

“Improper use of wordings, ladies. Charming is a prick. And we are….” The Lady referred to as the God Mother snapped back at the ladies.

“We are all cunts to him. We know.” The other four ladies replied.

“Let me start first.” Cinderella pushed her glass of sherry aside and then began her view on the matter.

“I was charmed by the man who came to my home; after swooning me on the dance hall. I can assure all of you his hands were all over me while I struggled to keep my dress over my bosom.” Cinderella leaned over on the counter. “I don’t have the bosom that will rival any of you but its alike perky blinder.”

“I have never seen that before.” Belle cut in.

“Well, darling book reader.” Snow White cut in. “Yours is like a book. Once you flipped the cover, the pages flared out from cover. It was true for Belle had her bosom restraint by the tight bodice so that it does not appear too obvious to the patrons of the library when she stamped the books on loan or returned at the desk. She was conscious of her magnificent gifts but she preferred to release them on her beastly lover. He does paw hard over her and the claws marking appeared like tiger stripes on it.

“I am ….” Belle was embarrassed by the remark.

“Belle, darling. We have taken the bath together and with yours, the soap suds could not form a colony on the surface. It may be more like the double twin peaks over the sea.” Snow White laughed out loud. “Oh, Belle. We knew of the Beast before he swooned you.”

“Gaston came to me in the forest, pleading for me to intervene. He told me Charming had donned the Halloween costume he had since the Dracula was taken by the original. He did parade to me with the costume; hoofs and dark furs with the oversized headgear. It was to be our annually ‘beastly night’ but I was too tired from the feedings. I told him to get off himself. I am sure you felt that.”

Belle’s expression was embarrassment with the crimson red on the cheeks to the lips but she docked her expression with the tongue lashing out.

“I am sure your book spine bindings went ….pooing….pooing.” Princess Aurora demonstrated with the snapping of her fingers. “Oh, I can imagine the bodice strings unleashed. I know how that feels. My mice are good at it. Sorry, was I interrupting?”

“Anyway, Gaston told me Charming was ‘rescuing’ his love from him. He told in his words; Es nevaru salīdzināt ar viņu.” Snow White explained. “I told him I don’t speak Latvian. So, he translated for me.”

“You mean he cannot compare to Charming.” Belle used simple words to tell others. “He…”

“Thank you, Belle, for the academic lessons but Gaston was more …. Explicit.” Snow White hid her embarrassment. 

“Oh, you mean he showed you. I have not seen his before.” Belle, in turn, became red on her cheeks. “I could see the outlined in his pants but like they say in my library, don’t judge the book by its cover.” 

“Snow White, how did you ever meet Gaston? I had made sure all of you were not in any contact in the realm… until now.” God Mother cut in. “Charming…”

“Fuck Charming!” Cinderella snapped out. “I meant we did.”

Cinderella stared at the others who were looking downcast then. She stopped at Belle and then back to Snow White.

“Do continue on your tale, Snow White. I am curious.” 

“Gaston was …. Not impressive. I meant he was charming but that ended there. He may stand out on the beach but he won’t make it to the rostrum.” Snow White continued on. “But he came to me for help. And I am kind and willing.” 

“Oh, please spare me the thought. You fucked him too.” Cinderella cut in.

“Well, I had … was bitten by my apples…. I meant he tripped then and landed on my lap. And his lips …” Snow White expression was the red apple. 

“Spare me, Snow White. You could not keep yourself together then. So was he good?” God Mother asked. “I had to know for I keep records of everyone here.” 

“He was …. beastly.” Snow White let out a snigger. “I have …” 

“Please spare me the thought. You have done it you know with who’s who…” Belle asked. “And I thought bestiality was only in the books.”

“Oh, no. I did not you know with the who’s who, but Charming was away most times. And I got lonely at times. Don’t forget I lived in the forest with seven dwarfs and he comes over once a full moon.” Snow White defended her loneliness. “There was the woodcutter, the hunter in the wolf skin, and there was also the green ogre. He was always clumsy but he ate me out.”

“Spare me the thought, please. I have a household…” Cinderella stopped there. “We were talking about Gaston.”

“Oh, yes. Anyway, I sent Gaston on his quest to hunt the beast. What did you see in the Beast, Belle?”

“Well. the Beast was kind …. Well, at least then. He gave me access to the castle, and the beautiful clothes, and books.” Belle smiled. “I read them.”

“You mean you found his personal collection?” Cinderella called in despair. “Oh…..Yes. I did too.”
“What personal collection?” Snow White asked. 

“Yeah, what personal ….. Oh, those. I tried to read them and ended up staying awake with some tired wrist muscles. He once made me do it while reading 1001 Arabian Nights. God, I had wished I taken the icy snow bath then.” 

“Did you read them?” Cinderella asked again.

“Yes, I did. I was a village girl before. I mean I am not that naïve. We have the farms …. You know what I meant.” Belle explained. “We have bees and birds too.” 

“Never seen them bees and birds do it. I have however seen the cook and the maids or was it the baker’s boy.” Cinderella searched her memories of it. “Belle, please do continue.”

“I knew more. I also know he peeks at me from behind the walls.” 

“Did he? I may not know. I knew he was a voyeur but I thought that was on the servants only. They perform for him in the hall. When he thinks I am asleep in bed? You all know, I can’t sleep.” Princess Aurora cut in. “He will get the dress in the toga and sat on the chair. I think he calls himself Nero.”

“Nero! That was his favourite nickname. He will play the violin while I read.” Belle smiled. “I can’t help it. He watched me touch myself.” 

“More sheep…I meant sherry. Or may I suggest Vodka.” Godmother handled out the next round of drinks. “Tally Ho, Belle. I must be getting intoxicated.”

“Well, the Beast was a gentle lover. He was accommodating with me.” Belle smiled. 

“I think I had a hand there. He came to me with the measurements and I made the adjustments.” God Mother explained. “I am his God Mother after all.” 

“Ladies, please. All of you are in love with Charming. So, take solace in it. He is a good lover and above all, he is a Prince and maybe the King one day.”

“Godmother, we need to correct you there. The reason we are seated here was not to discuss our love of Charming but our love without him. We are getting married. All four of us and to heck with the prick. We got ours now and they are harder.” All four ladies raised their skirts to display their strap-on. “Tell Charming he can sit on these.”

“Ladies…”

“No, Godmother. If there was the few things’ we learned from Charming it came from his personal collection. So, here’s to Woman Satisfaction.”

It was then I woke up to find myself rolled off my bedding. And landing face down was painful. That was one fantasy of me being Charming; the other version and someone intervened in my dream. Shucks, I need to pee now. 

How do you right a bent pipe? Just pulled it right.