Quickee it was ......

 One cold night at the palace, above the dungeon and close by the kitchen and just next to the library……. Fine, it was the drinking haven of the princesses.

“I do not know why I am seated here with you. Are we entertaining each other or just bored?” Then it was not Cinderella to complain about her daily life. She was always at work; the name synonymous with workaholic was refined by her to perfection. She was dusting the dust; imaginary layers were there on the bar counter.

“Hey, Cindy.” That was Snow White. “I had more fun with the dwarves than here. I had to tell them to pick the straws; the one with the shortest gets me soon after, all for himself. It was not a long wait; I could go to Rio on one trip. The last one gets the long haul alone, but by then I was probably too tired.”

“Yea, I heard Grumpy fret on that turn.” Rapunzel was seated there braiding her hair. “Hey, do not step on it. It took me some weeks to get it cleaned.”

“Dopey never did. Anyway, he was not the picker. He was into the digging. Dig, dig, did…," Snow crooned in her voice.

“Hi Ho…...” The gathered there echoed the delight.

“Sorry, Raz. I had to get the books out of the way, or I would not get my seat done right.” Belle apologized later before she sat down. She was particular about the correct posture and comfort.

“Beastly of him to leave us all here alone.” Bella voiced out.

“Hey, Godmother. Where is the charmer of the princes, whose name should not be charming but charmed, for we were all misled by his charms to be …… churned here?” Trust Sleepy Head to wake up then. She was always dozing away.

“Beauty sleep disrupted, huh?” Thumbelina swooped in. That was one lady so demure and small that at the bar counter, she was literally taken for the bar stool there, squeezed in between.

“I was… Yup, I was. It was the wettest of the wets.” Sleepy sighed. “And I never came…… not yet.”

“Do not look at me. I am walking bowlegged. No thanks to the stool I am seated on.” Thumbelina moaned.

“Well, Thumb. Try to invert the stool stand. You might get the cushion to balance better.” Snow said.

“And Sleepy, stop your dreaming. I have three bag loads of your dresses to wash…… all wet.” Cindy cried out.

“Baa Black Sheep …… Three bags full…...” All of them sang and took a huge gulp of the mead served.

“Shit, Princesses. I got the worst. Have you seen Shrek……. you know, without the …….” It was Mrs. Shrek, aka Princess Fiona.

“Hi, Fiona. We are all princesses here in some tales.” Snow cut in. “I have …… I meant I did read between the lines unlike all of you. Bella did everything by the lines. No, sirree… I read them. I had the mirror tell me what Shrek was like there……between the legs.”

“Look at us! We were all Sandra Dees. Lousy with the V, and should have peeked at the loo before we imagined Jurassic and turned up…… disappointed.” The other princesses all sang.

“Well, you are not wrong. The mirror laughed and laughed, and I thought it was me the mirror was looking at.” Snow laughed. “I should have known not to open my legs there. He could not fit in either.”

“Fit? I thought he was fitted for the quarterback position.” Cindy cried out. “I wondered what it is about men that when they see a woman bent over, they come inside. God! I was either scrubbing the floor or picking up his socks.”

“Tell me….... Tell me more……. Did he go very far…… Ah-ha/doo-do, doo-doo-doo…” The princesses all sang.

“Hey, it was summer then. And it was hot. I had on my apron.” Cindy said. “And he followed me all around the chamber, and I am telling you I felt nothing more than a scratch there. And later, I had to scrub the floor again…… all smudgy.”

“I told you not to watch my stash of porn magazines. It was printed in a different language.” The lady dressed in the warrior armor took her seat. “Pardon my sword. I had to use it on the barbarians at the gate.”

“Mulan, my dear. I thought we agreed to leave the swords at the gate.” Cindy sighed. “And no boots here. It will dirty the floor.”

“I would, but the barbarians were all outside. They were told there were princesses here. I had to fight my way through. I am not one of you, but I am a general. And in my country, I am the equivalent of being a princess.”

“Uh, princesses. Do you all want a refill here?” The Godmother looked at them. “Chinese wine for you, Mulan.”

“Give me rum!” The masculine voice roared out from the doorway. “I want to rumble!”

“No! Make mine the best wine. Bring me the whole leg……” Another masculine roar sounded.

“Barbarian, it is called a keg, not a leg.” The earlier one corrected him.

The princesses turned around and looked.

“Oh my… Here comes Conut and what's his name, Birdie Sparrow.” The princesses crooned. “Let us stick to broomsticks and bedknobs…… We will be bountifully fucked.”

“Conan, I am sailing tonight. Compared to them. Belit is more fun.” Sparrow turned his back.

“Hey, Sparrow. You do not turn your back on Belit. She will ……”

“Trust me? I am fully prepared.” Sparrow left the tavern.

“How about the refill, Princesses?’ The Godmother asked.

“You fucked yourself with the wand. Why did we believe in you then? Bloody waste of our sacrifice.” The princesses all said in unison,"